Review #94

Nintendo Fan's Lust

Story by JoshCube

Review by Ray




Ok I have noticed that alot of people now days dont make stories about themselves,

I beg to fucking differ. Every one of these stories has an original character who's a blatant projection of what the author wants to be. This is known as a Mary Sue, or a Gary Stu in some cases.

well I hope that changes cause sometimes it makes it more interesting.

Sometimes, but usually it just hands the protagonist a suit of plot armor and sends them on their merry way.

I dont like making erotic stories too long, so here is a short one. This is a story about me having sex with Peach,

 

Zelda,

 

and Samus.

 

To be fair, Josh Cube is probably talking about the two princesses and the space bounty hunter. But really, would anyone be surprised if two warriors and a fruit were the actual cast?

Nintendo girls I have loved ever since I was a child. Though they arent real, I share a special bond with them.

Okay, that's fair, sometimes fictional characters can leave a meaningful impact. But when you pay tribute by writing severely out of character erotica that focuses more on yourself than them, maybe you should leave that special bond out of it.

The funny thing is, I diddnt start getting a nasty mind about them till I was about 12 years old, then I started to think dirty about them.

So yeah, its a special bond.

Well yeah, but we call a lot of things special, and it's not always a good thing.

Like once my innocent mind grew up with them, and then my adult-hood went to the next level.

I'll actually get behind that; my significant other and I also grew up together, and it did make our bond more powerful. But I can assure you that if I ever write our story, it'll be a hell of a lot more meaningful than 2,000 words of self centered smut. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Josh; take a lesson from My Inner Life. Jenna made her feelings for Link very clear. She also made her inability to tell a captivating story quite clear, but I won't get into that again, seeing as there are already eight reviews that cover the story from start to finish.

Legal Stuff: There are sexual scenes in this story and heavy language. Do not read unless you are 18+.

Yes, I can't emphasise this enough readers; if you're not eighteen, your delicate mind clearly can't handle perversion in any form. It would be immoral of me to allow your delicate innocence to be polluted, and so I'm afraid you'll have to sit this story out.

 

Is the NSA gone? Okay, good. Keep reading regardless of your age, it would be ridiculous for me to give a fuck.

Story:

In the final room, I was up against Bowser, Ganon and Mother Brain. With my final blow, I sent all of them flying far away out of the castle and bam, they were gone, I had defeated them with my final blow.

 

Really, how could the story get better? That was the climax. He defeated three supervillains, and he did he with his final blow. Maybe if we had any story leading up to this there could be some falling action, but since there was no rising action to set it up, this is the only logical ending.

Later on that night

 

I walked back to Peach's Castle to talk to Peach, Zelda, and Samus about my accomplishment. I got to the door and opened it and they were sitting at a table inside the room.

 

Peach: Josh!

Ray: Oh, I guess we're using this format now. Why? My guess is that quotes are too complicated for Josh to even attempt.

Josh: Hey

Zelda: So you beat them all? Right on.

Zelda: You defeated the most infamous villain in each of our universes? Yeah, I guess that's cool, but whatever.

Josh: Yeah it wasent that hard, just doing my work being a loyal Nintendo fan.

Ray: Is this a commercial? Because that sounds like something somebody would say in a commercial.

Samus: Well next time mabey we can help you.

Josh: Nah its fine.

Josh: Nah, you womenfolk can sit here in this generic room while I save the world with the combined powers of testosterone and plot armor, it's fine.

I went and sat over on the bed while Peach, Zelda and Samus were still at the table.

Woah, there's a bed now? This story is full of plot twists, I'm having a hard time keeping up.

Josh: Oh man I am tired, what I would do for a massage.

Peach: Oh and you want us to do it?

To be fair, Peach is basically the portrayal of women that feminists hate, at least in the earlier games.

 

So it's understandable that she would do whatever Josh says. But if he wants any favors from Samus or Zelda, good fucking luck.

Josh: Well I dont really mind who does, I just would like one.

Samus: Well I am an expert at keeping the body fresh and healthy with massages.

Since when? When has that ever been mentioned in the canon, or even been a possibility? Josh, I doubt that you have a bond with these characters; I think it's much more likely that you have a fixation on the way they look. Which in all honest would be fine by me, but only if you could actually admit what it's really about.

Samus came over to the bed and sat down and started rubbing my back.

Josh: Oh yeah, thats great Samus, you are an angel.

Zelda and Peach came over to the bed

Zelda: I will work you arms, Peach can do something else mabey.

Peach can go sit at the generic table of genericness, one masseuse is one more than Josh needs.

Josh: Thats fine.......mmmmm...

I started to fall asleep as the girls massaged me and as I was falling asleep, one of the girls flicked the lights so now it was darker in the room.

I had noticed I was on my back as they flipped me over and all 3 girls were on the bed with me massaging me.

Josh: I dont mind how you girls do it.

Wow, that's one of the douchiest compliments I've ever read.

All of a sudden, Samus slowly started rubbing my stomoch, then she slowly went for my underwear.

All of a sudden, she slowly did two sequential actions.

Josh: Samus what are you doing?

Samus: Massaging you.

Josh: But......I.....

Josh, don't even pretend to be uncomfortable, you know you wanted this.

Then she started to go lower to where my dick was.

Josh: Samus.....

I started to blush really red.

Yeah, that's totally understandable. He just wanted a massage from three women at once, but godesses forbid anything sexual happen!

Zelda and Peach then wrapped their arms around me and kissed me on my cheeks. After that, they started undressing.

Did they rehearse this while he was gone?

Samus started to take my clothes off. Now we were all laying in our undies and panties.

Yes, because total nudity would be escalating too quickly. Josh understands the importance of pacing. Now for no reason at all let's look at the first two sentences again.

In the final room, I was up against Bowser, Ganon and Mother Brain. With my final blow, I sent all of them flying far away out of the castle and bam, they were gone, I had defeated them with my final blow.

Pacing.

Peach: Josh, get ready for the night of your life.

Samus slid my underwear down and my dick was sticking up. She started rubbing it and then started sucking on it. Everyone took their clothes off.

Again. They took their clothes off, again.

Zelda: Mmmmm, let me kiss it too.

Zelda went over to join Samus in the dick sucking fest

Dick Sucking Fest; somebody make that happen.

while Peach scooted over to my face and spread her pussy and then sat on my face. I started to lick her pussy as it tasted sweet like honey.

And this sentence is how we known that Josh has never tasted pussy.

I used my hands to grab her legs as I licked and licked the soft rose petals of Peach's vagina as it was mother nature at it's best.

This is Aphrodite in action, get your mythical figures right.

Josh: Oh guys, im really embarressed now, this is my first time.

It's his first time and it's a four way, what could go wrong?

Zelda: Hehe, now here is some sucking for you Joshy.

Psh, the story was sucking long before their clothes came off.

Zelda started sucking on my cock as I saw her cheeks suck in and she closed her eyes and moved her mouth up and down. Then samus started sucking my cock and did the same.

At the same time?

Samus: Well I think its time for the next step gals.

As Samus said with a smile on her face. Peach went over to wisper in their ears.

Peach: *Let me go first.*

Zelda: *Ok.*

Whoever: *Why are we whispering if it's going to be heard by the point of view character anyways?*

Whoever Else: *And since when do asterisks mean whispering?*

They stopped whispering and then Zelda came up to my face part and layed next to me.

Face part? Does Josh have a dick growing out of his head?

Peach climbed on top of me and grabbed my dick.

I'll take that as a yes.

Josh: Wait guys, im a virgin.....

You say that like it's going to stop this inevitable lemon. If you really want to stop it, you could use that final blow you seem to have forgotten about.

I....uh...I....ack!!!

Peach grabbed my dick and shoved it inside her pussy, taking my virginity.

Thief!

I went in shock and gasped as my eyes widened as my dick finaly got inside the depths of a pussy, after all these years. Peach sat on top of me and started to bounce up and down on me as my dick was feeling the fast walls inside her pussy. It was the greatest feeling ever!!

Well if you think sex is good, just wait until you make love. Because believe me Josh, this is a purely physical act, nobody involved has expressed any emotional investment.

I grabbed her hips as her pussy tightened on my hard cock as she just moved her body up and down gripping my dick as it kept shoving inside her over and over and over. Zelda just hugged me and kiss me while Samus started masturbating to Peach on my dick. Peach's breasts were bouncing up a down as she bounced on me.

It's nothing above average, but those descriptions weren't terrible. How about we ruin it with some dialogue!

Josh: Ah, this feels so good!

Mm, perfect, just perfect. The only way we can possibly know that sex feels good is if the character says it out loud.

Peach: You like it huh? I knew you would you little pervert!

Yeah, about that; Peach, you're a bigger pervert than he is. Maybe not when you're in character, but when you're in Josh's head, he's somehow the innocent one.

It was time for me to make the decisions.

Why? Their decisions seem to be working out just fine for you.

I wanted to fuck Zelda now and wanted Peach and Samus to turn me on even more.

Dammit Josh, finish your first slut before you open a new one!

So Zelda scooted next to me as I got up in a doggy-style position and so did she.

Alright, no dialogue was even hinted at, so at this point I'll just assume Zelda can read minds.

I grabbed Zelda's fine ass and I shoved my dick inside her and started to stroke her.

Oh, does Zelda also have a face part to stroke?

As I was stroking Zelda, Peach got to the front of Zelda and opened her legs and scooted next to Zelda's Face. Zelda went lower as I fucked her and she started to lick Peach's pussy which turned me on even more and I started to fuck Zelda faster.

Oh, that reminds me, I should be keeping up on my bad erotica checklist.

✓ A pathetic excuse of a plot

✓ Shitty and generic dialogue

✓ A distinct lack of even the most minorly unpleasant aspects of sex

✓ Damning evidence that the writer is a virgin

✓ All female characters have the exact same slutty personality

✓ All female characters only exist to please the male character

✓ All female characters are bisexual

Samus then sat her ass on top of Peach and let Peach lick her pussy which turned me on even more as I was fucking a girl that was putting on a pussy licking show for me.

I started getting so horney that I was on level 3

 

which was the state where I wanted to come. But since I havent fucked Samus yet, I would want to let my load in her.

Josh, when a majority of your narration is dedicated to changing the position instead of exploring the current one, that's a bad sign. What you've written is a very good outline, but it's hard to call it anything more than that.

So I got Samus and went up to her body and bent her legs in the air with her ass facing upwards. I than stuck my dick inside her and I was getting such a big orgasm from this. Peach went up to Samus's face and the licking continued.

I got to the point I was getting so fucking horney that I was going to blast my cum right straight into Samus's pussy.

Well yeah, when you have sex you cum; it's not like any new ground is being broken here, so there's no real reason to remind everyone.

Josh: I am cumming soon!! I have to pull.

Zelda: Well pull then.

Josh: Do you want me to!?

Peach: Nah, its under control.

 

"N-Fan to mission control, can I get a sitrep?"

"Mission control to N-Fan, situation is under control."

"Are we clear to pull? Repeat, are we clear to pull?"

"That's a negative N-Fan, situation is under control. Stop being a bitch, over."

Samus: *gasp* *pant*......no Josh......*pant*.....blast your fucking cum right in my pussy. BLAST YOUR LOAD DOWN MY HOLE!!!

 

Classy.

Josh: Huh!?

Zelda: Dont mess with his mind like that or he will.

Or he will what?

Peach: Um, its no prob. It is under control.

What's under control‽

I was ramming my dick inside Samus faster and faster and faster and my body shifted towards her tender ass. I was fucking her so fast I was like a starved Metroid without blood for days.

Oh look, an analogy that actually hints at the fact that we're in the Nintendo universe. It's hard to tell, since before the only clues were the names of the characters.

Samus's breasts bounced up and down as she layed on the bed as I constantly rammed her like a fucking jackhammer at a construction site.

Alright Josh, I'm revoking your analogy card, you'll get it back when you've shown that you can use them properly.

Josh: Im gonna cum!!

Samus: Do it!! Shoot every last fucking drop inside me!!

Josh: EEEEeaaaagghhh!!

Samus: *scream*

Really? Not even gonna capitalize that? Don't get me wrong, it would be stupid to put that in caps. However, since we're long past the stupidity event horizon, I figure we might as well commit.

I slowly looked at my dick as we heard a few splats, splurts, and funny bubbly noises.

Any of which should have been present during the sex, not just at the climax.

Samus: Yes.....Yes!!

Cum started oozing out the cracks of her pussy and I slowly pulled my long huge dick from her pussy and as I pulled it out, a stream of cum came dripping off of my dick from the hole of her pussy as it limped down against the bed. Cum was driping off my dick as her pussy got filled with cum.

As? Is he still shooting it into her from a distance? Because I somehow doubt that.

After I filled her hole, I went and put my mouth on her pussy and told her to cum.

 

You've earned it Josh.

She cummed right into my mouth and I drank her pussy-cum and then swallowed it. (Yummy!)

ne. So that is a trademark.

Something tells me this wasn't proofread. Like, at all.

But I wasent done yet, I wanted to fill Peach and Zelda.

Zelda: Can I feel some also?

Josh: Sure

I got Zelda in a doggy style and now it was time to blast the 2nd load in her.

 Bad time ski instructor 1 - If you think you can cum three times back to back to back you're gonna have a bad time

I started jerking into her faster and faster as my dick got horney again. I loved the feeling of my dick slamming against the walls of this princess.

Peach and Samus wanted to start fisting while I fucked her, so they began.

Okay, maybe you've never fisted yourself Josh, and I don't blame you for that. But you should know that it's not a casual decision.

Samus gripped both her hands and then shoved her first into her pussy working her way in, then she worked her other first into her asshole.

 

Though to be fair, the thing hasn't stopped beeping since I opened this story.

She kept fisting Peach as Peach felt a big orgasm and then started cumming. Samus pulled out the first fist from her pussy and it dripped with Peach's cum,

And blood, presumably.

then Samus pulled out the second fist from the other hole and it was dry.

My bullshit detector just exploded, thanks a lot Josh.

Zelda: Ah yes, yes!!

With a final thrust, I shot my 2nd load into Zelda and it squirted deep into her vagina. She collapsed on the bed, and a stream of cum went on the bed.

So are we ignoring the fact that he's not using any protection whatsoever?

Peach and Samus went to Zelda's pussy and she sprayed them with cum and it dripped off their faces. They licked each drop of her cum by licking each other's fingers and putting them into each other's mouths.

Peach: Ok im next.

Not a single shred of enthusiasm, well done Peach.

Peached layed down on the bed on her side and I grabbed one of her leg and held it up as I scooted my body towards her. I then shoved my dick inside her and started screwing her good.

Peach: Oh Josh

Not. A single. Shred.

I did her fast and then unleashed my cum into her hole also and then pulled out as a stream of cum went on the bed. I commanded Peach to cum on my dick and she opened her pussy and then blasted a bunch of her pussy-cum onto my hard dick.

Josh, are you even trying to act like you know what sex is like? I really don't care that you're a virgin, that's none of my business, it's your choice. But it was also your choice to write this and put it online, so do a little fact checking.

After her pussy-cum went on my hard dick, I turned Peach over and fucked her dry asshole and then pulled my dick out. Her asshole dripped with her own cum.

 

One last thing I wanted to try (since this is the Nintendo World and you can pretty much do anything.)

Don't. Just don't.

I put my fingers toward my head and closed my eyes and jumped by orgasm level up a notch using the Nintendo Power.

What did I say Josh? What did I just say?

After that I slammed my dick into Zelda's pussy and filled it up with cum. Then she got another orgasm and I told her to aim in the air. She aimed in the air and shot gushes of cum and pussy-cum straight in the air which also hit the fan.

This room even has a fan‽

 

It hit the fan and rickashayed off the fan onto walls, the bed, and onto us, and everywhere.

Not even going to touch that one it speaks for itself.

I grabbed Peach, Zelda, and Samus's heads and opened each of their mouths.

I stuck my dick into Peach's mouth and shot inside her.

Josh: One for you.

 

He's going to do the same thing to the other two, isn't he?

Then I stuck my dick into Zelda's mouth and shot inside her.

Josh: One for you.

Gee, wonder what's gonna happen next.

Then I stuck my dick into Samus's mouth and shot inside her.

Josh: And one for you.

Shocker.

Peach, Zelda, and Samus all layed there tired out with cum dripping from their mouths, faces, pussies, assholes, everywhere. Not a hole or area was uncovered. Cum was just oozing out of every hole, every area, every tit, and every mouth. They thought they could pwn me, but it seems I pwned them.

Josh, sentences like that are what make it literally impossible (figuratively) for you to have sex with anyone, let alone three people at once.

The bed was drentched and soak and wet. It was so wet from all the cumming from everyone, everyone was laying in the mixture of puddles of cum on the bed.

Everyone just sat there with our eyes closed drentched in loads of cum, gasping and panting like we had the biggest fuck of our lives.

Like? LIKE? WHAT IN THE EVERFUKING NAME OF FUCK DO YOU MEAN LIKE?

Everyone lost their virginity in a matter of minutes.

Nope, I refuse to believe that. You don't just go from nothing to double fisting in a matter of minutes.

We all feel asleep on the bed as the girls hugged me, and I hugged them. The night drifted away, and the soft winds blowed.

A few months passed, all of the girls got pregnant and I had to force them to take the pill.

 

That's not how… you don't… if it was months… somebody find me a table to flip.

It was the greatest experiene a Nintendo Fan ever had.

I fucked each one of them good, and that my friends, was the final level.

 

THE END.

Btw, a note to the readers, if you ever have unprotected sex, dont be a dumbass and cum inside.

Or you could be smart and not have unprotected sex in the first place. Unless of course you're fucking infants or animals, since neither is likely to get pregnant or give you an STD, making everything perfectly okay. Or something like that. I don't know, I'm bad at aesops.

Make sure you know when to pull.

I am 20 and I am still a virgin.

 

I dont plan on losing my virginity till I am married because of religion and morals.

Yeah, fair enough, if that's what you want to do then go for it. But checking your facts isn't difficult. Get one proofreader. Just one. They'll at least point out the more glaringly obvious flaws.

But its only a matter of time before I go where no Nintendo Fan has gone before.

I have never had a girlfriend, and a girl only kissed me once. I would do anything for a girlfriend.

Hear that ladies? Wouldn't you just love to be with a guy who thinks of women as sexual objects void of personality? Well now you can!

I advise everyone not to lose your virginity till you are married because if you dont, you're going to possibly regret losing it as I know alot of guys who wished they never have had sex and wanted to be virgins again, but they couldnt.

 

Am I unhappy with the way I lost my virginity? Oh, absolutely. I'm not even being sarcastic here, it was bad. But that's life. It's experience. At least when I lost it I could move on. But you know what would really fill me with regret? If I waited until marriage, then found out that we weren't right for each other.

But its everyone's destiny and path in life, and you choose your own path.

In that case, I choose to wait until marriage to give up sex.

But if you are not sure, best to wait it out because you may feel empty. But if Peach, Zelda and Samus were real, mabey I would have second thoughts. I'd do anything to fuck them.

Oh look, I'm not the only one who's bad at aesops.

Also, I masturbated to this story after I was do

Josh, is it possible you meant to say done? You know, the thing that this story isn't because you somehow forgot the last two lette