Review #90

Phil and Lil's Greatest Sexual Adventure

Story by beautifulsoulsasha

Review by Ray




Some of you might remember Rugrats: All Grown Up. I don't, but basically it was a spin off that took place several years after the original series, putting the characters in their teens. And yet, a completely canon and much more socially acceptable alternative didn't stop Sasha from writing Phil and Lil's Greatest Sexual Adventure about the baby version.


Before the story, I’d like direct your attention to the summary.

I can guarantee that you have never seen a lemon like this! Warning: Explicit sexual content including, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia.

And immediately Sasha has made a liar of herself; we’ve seen plenty of those lemons. I’d estimate that about a third of our reviews have one of those kinks. In fact, at least two have traces of all four!

So don’t go telling me what I have and haven’t read Sasha; you’ll have to earn my disgust.

Don't like don't read...

Challenge accepted, onward to the story!

So Phil and Lil were sitting on top of a dead priest that they killed.

 

Right to the point and eager to gain some shock value, nice move Sasha.

"Killing is fun!" Phil said.

"Really, really fun!" Lil said.

Riveting dialogue, just rivetting.

"But it also makes me really horny..."

Does anyone else smell lemons? It’s a very subtle scent; it only burns a few extra holes in your nostrils and waters your eyes to the point of almost drowning. But if you focus you might be able to detect it.

"Me too!"

Phil then got out the screwdriver he had stolen from Tommy and gouged out a big hole in the priest's stomach.

Because when I think of horny babies, the absolute first thing that comes to mind is disemboweling a priest with a stolen screwdriver. Come on Sasha, pick an angle and stick with it. The clusterfuck method may work on some, but to really get people cringing you have to put forth a little effort.

Phil and Lil then climbed inside him and started getting comfortable. This got them quite bloody, but they liked the warm blood on their flesh and it made them feel more sexually aroused.

"Let's do it!" Phil yelled.

Phil you little shit, step yelling. Lil is in the same corpse, she can hear you; use your insides voice.

"OK!" Lil said happily.

But before they could start making love two twin raccoons came up and presented themselves to them.

Ugh, don’t you hate it when that happens? You’re about to make love to your infant twin in a freshly murdered priest when a couple of forest critters come along and try to steal the show.

"I think they want to join in." Lil said.

"Hey the more the marbier!" Phil said.

Marbier? Looks like Sasha just lost her spellcheck award.

So they both fingered one raccoon with one hand during this whole ordeal.

…Am I the only one a little underwhelmed by that? It’s taboo, they’re infants and animals, yeah yeah, I get that. The nouns do provide a great setup, but the verb kills it. Just fingering? Sasha, you can do better than that.

Phil and Lil took their clothes off and lusted after each others naked bodies.

Phil's wee wee was very hard and it bobbed slightly because it was throbbing.

Thank you for explaining how penises work. Is this a health class or an incestuous pedonecrobeast lemon?

Phil then, began to penetrate Lil.

That was, an unusual comma.

Little did they know that Tommy's grandpa was filming in the background, hidden from them.

The background of where you might ask? Who the fuck has time to explain, we have much more crucial plot elements to get to.

"This is some hot shit!" Grandpa whispered whilst fapping, he already was half-way to a full hard-on.

So he had a semi. Maybe instead of using math to explain boners, Sasha could take a trip to urban dictionary.

Phil and Lil were in pure ecstasy, Phil now just humping Lil and Lil concentrating on fingering the two raccoons to keep them aroused. The blood of the recently dead was spreading around like butter.

 

Grandpa now had a full hard-on. " I haven't gotten it completely hard in years!" Grandpa commented happily, dick in hand.

 

"It is time to change it up a bit..." Phil said and then they got into a new sex position.

And not a new moral position, that’s too bad.

Phil began to fuck a raccoon in the butt while that raccoon was fucking Lil while Lil fucked the other raccoon with her conveniently placed strap-on.

That was convenient, but good thing it was there, now all small babies and smaller animals are welcome to join in on this conga line. And who are we to judge? Clearly they’re all consenting, eager even. This isn’t disgusting at all, it’s a good time for everyone!

 

Except for the priest. The priest probably isn’t having as much fun.

The raccoons could not hold it in any more and made the two babies lay down and one raccoon climaxed on Phil's face while another climaxed on Lil's face.

They drank the cum, happily.

 

But what about the cum drinking shows that it’s a happy act? Sasha, write as though you’re observing the scene for the first time, not as though you already know what happened. It’ll make your devious writing much more powerful.

"Oh shit! I'm going to bust a nut!" Grandpa said, climaxing getting cum all over himself.

Phil then put his wee wee back inside of Lil and came inside of her as she came, this was the best sex that they have had in their entire two and a half years of living.

And I thought I started (And admittedly stopped) at a young age.

"That was great" Phil said.

"Yea!" Lil said.

They then left covered in blood, sweat, and cum, they knew that mommy would give them a bath soon and then they would be nice and clean, and ready for a long nap.

 

How touching.

Tommy's grandpa stopped recording and fell asleep in the afterglow becuase of his unbelievable orgasm that he experienced.

The End

It never ends, not as long as stories like this exist. But at least we’re putting a dent in the library of the internet, one piece of fuckery at a time.