Review #83

Gun Gale Online: The Swordswoman

Story by A New Username

Review by Hent




Want to get trapped in a game with me?


Hello everyone! I’m back. In honor of Sword Art Online 2 finally coming out, here is a fanfiction to to wreck all of my expectations.

Gun Gale Online: The Swordswoman

Chapter One: A World of Guns

Author's Note

And here is where it all goes downhill.

Yeah, it's been a while since I've posted an SAO story on this account, huh?

Why is there always more?

For those of you who follow my other SAO story, I'll inform you now that I'm making slow progress on it. It's about a thousand words in at the moment.

...So it’s about a page long?

A few things you should know before reading this story:

 

One: Kirito is actually a girl in this. Her name in this is Kimiko Kirigaya, and her avatar name is Kiriko. If you're curious as to why I made Kirito into Kiriko, then let me answer you with this: I just felt like it. There's no other real reason. Also, no other characters have been gender-swapped.

I am ok with this. Gender Bender is always a good genre.

Two: this takes place in a world where SAO was nothing but a 2D MMO, ALO didn't exist, and GGO became the death game. I won't say anything more on the subject just yet.

...so nothing in the original story happened and one of the games they go into doesnt even exist.

What else?

Three: I have not read the GGO light novels. Anything that is actually accurate is coming from the wiki, and anything inaccurate is probably on purpose, as I've had to make up a lot of stuff due to having no access to the light novels.

...boy...it’s not like you have access to the internet or anything.

Four: okay, this is the one that will most likely make or break your interest in this story. This is a YURI story, meaning girlxgirl, lesbian, femslash, whatever you want to call it. I won't tell you what the pairing is just yet, since I don't feel like spoiling such an important detail.

Well, if you're still reading this, then I thank you for your lack of prejudice.

Your welcome.

 I guess that I've told you all you need to know.

Hold on! If the story has been completely fucked up, what is this even about?

See you in the bottom note!

No! Come back! Answer my question!!!

The sound of gunfire could be heard throughout the desert area. The moon in the clear night sky illuminated the firing of each and every bullet, making the battle raging around me seem like a light show. A very, very deadly light show.

Sounds like a fun party.

Of course, as soon as each bullet left the barrel it was shot from, it became masked in the darkness of the night, making the battle even more deadly.

Four walls that looked like they would crumble from a single grenade were the only things protecting me from the raging battle outside.

You gender bended pussy! Get out there and fight!

I looked down at my waist, focusing my eyes on my «FN Five-Seven» semi-automatic handgun resting at my right side. It still had all of its rounds in it, as I hadn't fired it since reloading it this morning. Still, if this kept up, I would likely end up emptying the entire magazine while trying to escape with my life.

Oh great. It’s one of those stories.

What do you mean by that?

You know, when they are super specific about everything that doesn't matter.

Isn’t that every story we do?

Pretty much.

I redirected my attention to the metal cylinder held at my left side by a belt loop.

Dildo?

 I eyed it intently, trying to think of a way to use what I had to get out of my current predicament.

It’s a dildo.

Havent you seen the show? It’s a lightsaber.

No it’s a (5 min later after some intense googling) Photon Sword.

  

Fuck it, thats a lightsaber. Call it whatever you want.

If I activate the blade of my «Photon Sword»,

Man. If I had read one more sentence, I wouldn't have spent ten min on a stupid joke. Fuck Life.

 the light would be a dead giveaway for my identity.

Someone knowing your secret identity isn't important right now. You are in a war zone.

Taking into account that I'm one of the most wanted people in the entire game, it would be suicide to use it, I thought, grimacing lightly. Sure, they're not after me right now, but the fact remains that I have a bounty on my head. If anyone recognizes me, I'm dead.

So are they trapped in this game and they die in real life?

Sounds like it. But why are other players killing each other? In the actual story, they formed armies in order to beat the game.

I looked up to the sky, wondering just how I had gotten myself into this mess.

Why don’t you enlighten us by jumping back in time, now that your “hook” is over?

But no, I didn't mean this battle. I meant the game itself. The game that trapped one-hundred-thousand players in it and left them to fend for themselves

See! Right there! They are perfectly capable of teamwork!

When they do go into this game in the story, all the combat has been team based.

as they desperately tried to find a way out, lest they be killed by the monsters, or worst of all… other players.

don Don DOOOOONNNNN!!!!!!

«Gun Gale Online».

I sat in my computer chair, anxiously waiting for the digital clock on my nightstand to turn to 13:00. While I waited, I occupied my time with listening to MMO Stream on my computer, as well as reading a newspaper article about a genius inventor who surpassed all others.

Kayaba Akihiko.

This isn’t a fanfiction! This is just a bad retelling of the opening scene of the show!

He invented the 2D MMORPG Sword Art Online, captivating millions of players in just a few short months. But he wasn't satisfied with that. No, not even close. He proceeded to create the first device that could be used to immerse yourself into a complete virtual environment: the Nerve Gear. But he didn't finish there. He created an all-new game, Gun Gale Online, as the first Virtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, or VRMMORPG for short.

For short.

Good one.

 Ten thousand lucky

 

people got selected as players to test the beta version of GGO, and they all loved it, even though most of the testers had no previous gaming experience.

What is the point of a beta if you don't have actual gamers testing it?

Though my beta invite wasn't out of sheer luck.

Self centered much?

"Sister!" someone said from just outside my closed bedroom door. "I'm going to kendo practice!

Kendo is sword fighting by the way.

I'll see you when I get back, all right?"

Don't count on it.

Bitch.

You do know that this story is redoing the first season of the show right?

Yea…

And he said that the other game doesn't exist right?

….What are you getting at?

What happens in the other game?

…..Man you're crazy. Can we just get ba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO INSEST……

Are you ok?

I thought about voicing my thoughts to her, my 'sister.'

Thank you for stating that. It wasn’t obvious.

In the end, however, I opted to remain silent and wait for her to leave. After a few seconds, I heard the sound of footsteps leaving my doorway. Sighing loudly, I looked over to my clock.

He must have good hearing if he can hear a person walking outside of the house.

12:59

Just one more min until the true sucking begins.

I set the magazine I had been holding down on my computer desk, turning off the monitor and speakers for my computer before heading over to my bed. Sitting on my bed was a helmet-like structure, with a cord attached to the back.

For the love of god, we don’t need to know every detail.

The Nerve Gear.

I had already loaded the software used to log into Gun Gale Online into the Nerve Gear as soon as I woke up; it was a Saturday,

I had woken up at 8:30, I took a shower, I used Head and Shoulders hair wash, I hadn't shaved my legs in a week,

 so it's not like I had school to go to. Although, it would've been nice to have something to do other than sit in my room waiting until it was time to log on.

I took one last look around my room, somehow feeling like I wouldn't see it for a long time.

I’m bored.

  

Gray curtains covered my bedroom window, allowing only enough daylight through to allow me to see without having to turn on my bedroom light. I had been told on multiple occasions that I was similar to a bat in nature, always preferring to wear dark clothes and be in dark spaces.

Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla

Apart from my computer desk, computer chair, and bed, the room was absent of furniture. Littered about the floor were computer parts of all shapes and sizes, as I had been trying to build another computer before turning on MMO Stream.

Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla

All in all, my room looked nothing like the room of an average fourteen-year-old girl.

Interested again.

Then again, I was far from average. Kimiko Kirigaya, a living legend in the world of computer technology.

And just like that

Hent?... Hent!...You can’t leave me alone! Ray will get mad!

I created a computer out of spare parts at the tender age of seven years old. For a living,

I thought you were 14? Why do you need to make a living?

 I made custom computers and laptops that I sold over the web. All of them performed better than all their brand name counterparts, and everyone who knew about my net persona knew it. And of course, that net persona shared its name with my beta avatar for Gun Gale.

Looking back to my Nerve Gear, I grabbed its cord, running my hand along it until I gripped the plug. I reached over to the outlet next to my bed, plugging the Nerve Gear's cord in. After laying down on my bed, I raised my head ever-so-slightly and slid the Nerve Gear on my head.

Serious Hent, what are you doing?

You need to ask?

 

I turned my gaze to the corner of the helmet's visor, noting that the time had finally arrived. It was finally 13:00, and I could finally log into Gun Gale Online

It’s about fucking time.

You

stay right there. I’ll be back.

for the first time since the end of the beta, which happened several months prior. There was only one thing left to say.

"Link start!"

This story is going to take forever.

Suddenly, my vision turned white, startling me for the faintest of moments just as it always did. Lines of all colors streaked across my field of vision until they were all behind me. Then, circles with the English words for the five senses came up into my field of vision one by one, confirming that I could use them in the game. Once they were all finished confirming, they scrolled out of my sight, and a language bar appeared.

I confirmed the play language as Japanese,

Oh good. I get to translate more stuff. Tell me, are you going to write it in english or にほんのか?  I will take on both if i have to.

 and a login screen appeared. I mentally entered my username and password,

Because

 then watched as the character creation window popped up.

Time to slide the bar for breast size all the way up.

Character Creation

Your beta test data is still available.

Would you like to use it?

Kiriko (M)

...doesn't M stand for male?

Yes/No

I tapped yes. Yeah, I play as a boy.

You set up a story….you make it so the main character is a girl instead of a guy….and you immediately turn her back into a dude….

Fuck you sir. Fuck you.

It's stupid,

Yes….yes it is.

 but girls in GGO just aren't taken as seriously. Besides, my net persona had the same name, even though it was a girl's name. But I digress.

Oh? This is where you decide to digress? As opposed to all the other unnecessary shit?

I mentally touched the yes button, and then then a gray screen appeared with the English words, "Welcome to Gun Gale Online!" in the middle. My vision moved past this screen, and pillars of orange and red light that formed a tunnel made their way past my field of vision. Then, the light turned into polygons that scattered, revealing the "sky" of this world.

Sounds like a good high to me. How about you?

...Shut up. I’m still angry.

I looked down, finding myself in the «Plaza» of the first city in the game, the «SBC Glocken». I clenched my hands into fists, watching the virtual muscles in my wrist tense. This was it; I was finally back.

 

Stop going into detail!!!

"Hello, world…"

This is me!! Life should be F

 

Fun for every one.

 I whispered, looking around at the new players appearing around me with a smile. "Did you miss me?"

I did, but then I started watching Sweet Blue Flowers and Tokyo Ghoul.

It was then that I remembered that I had to purchase my favorite weapon. I could deal with the starting gun they gave me, simply dubbed as the «Hand Gun», as it was still semi-automatic. But if there was one thing to use all of my starting money on, it had to be one of the starting versions of my favorite weapon—

 ?

A «Photon Sword», that is.

Oh the lightsaber.

 Apparently, Kayaba and the rest of the developers had put the weapon type in the game on a whim, trying to imitate a weapon used in some old American movie series.

Old? The new Star Wars movie comes out in December 2015.

But it’s totally going to suck.

YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!

Well, whatever the reason, I loved to use «Photon Swords», and seemed to be the only person in the beta who could use them effectively.

You're in a game that has the word GUN in the title. No shit no one is going to use the fucking lightsaber.

Also: They said that the beta people weren't gamers. I would assume that killing a person with a sword in a gunfight is a difficult thing to do for a n00b.

I broke into a run, heading straight for the shopping district of the city. Only one shop sold the starter «Photon Swords», and only ten were kept in stock before they were sold out forever. I had to make haste if I was to be sure of getting one.

That seems like a really specific thing to do on a whim.

As I ran through the massive city, I eventually came to hear the sound of footsteps behind me.

Seriously! How good is He/she/it/her/him/thems hearing?

 At first, I knocked it off to coincidence. 

But then I took an English class and wrote an actual sentence.

When I had reached the weapon shop and still heard the sound of footsteps behind me, I knew I was being followed.

Because no one else could possibly want one of the only ten available lightsabers.

"Whoever's there, you'd best come out," I said,

With a southern accent and drawl.

turning around with an angry gaze.

"Got it," a fearful voice said, its owner coming out from behind a building to my left. "Sorry for following you. You were in the beta-test, right?"

Stocker much?

I took in this man's avatar's appearance,

cringing as I did so. He was about my height, with a muscular body structure that took muscular to unrealistic levels. His face looked well-chiseled, with a dark red mustache to accentuate his crimson mohawk.

 

Anything that has Major Armstrong in it, is ok with me.

...Rays going to make you do a Fullmetal Alchemist FanFic for saying that.

If going to an alternate dimension in which the characters you love are now Nazis is how they end the show; I think I can handle whatever is thrown at me.

After a few seconds, I finally found it in me to speak. "Y-yeah, but how did you know that?"

The man looked at me, a smile growing on his face. "Well, I heard you say, 'did you miss me?' back when you first got there. I figured it out from that, and then started following you so that I could see where you were going."

Stalker…

HAHA! My words exactly.

I thought you would like a guy stocking a 14 year old girl?

But he doesn't know he is a she disguised as a guy! And that makes it gay!

But the author said that this was a girl on girl story. So it’s supposed to be gay.

YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!

Hent! What are you yelling about?

But he just doesn't understand!!!

Have your psychotic breakdown some other time. You’re on the clock.

Bu..But he no understand!!!

You can play with your imaginary friend later.

But he wait...what?

 I thought, masking my discomfort with a smile. "Okay. Anything else you want?"

I want your sex!

Shut up Yellow!!! There will be no gayness in my cubicle.

 

Because thats the last thing you need.

"I was hoping…" he started, looking at me pleadingly. "That you could teach me the basics! Like most of the one-hundred thousand people here, it's my first day. Do you think you could give me some pointers?"

Well I’m glad you asked. Here is all you need to know in order to win a fight.

#1 hold the gun like this

 

This decreases your accuracy and makes you look stupid.

But for some reason you get really popular.

#2 Screaming will make you more powerful.

 

It’s over 9,000 for a reason.

#3 you need to shout an attack name at least once per fight but only when against an enemy that isn't a side character.

 

This will never get old. No matter how many times they say it in one fight.

#4 You need a stock footage shot you you transforming.

 

The longer the change, the better.

"I dunno…" I said, averting my eyes from his begging look.

It was then that I found two big hands gripping my shoulders.

 

Get on with the story!!!

It startled me, but I remained calm on the outside. He then kept up his begging routine. "Aw, come on, please! I'm beggin' ya!"

I looked back up to face him, hoping to decline his request. Big mistake. Even with his ugly appearance, his pleading look completely destroyed my defenses. I sighed. "All right, you win."

Well that was easy.

"Sweet!" he shouted, raising his fist into the air in a victory pose.

 

He then looked back to me, a broad smile on his face. "My name's Klein, by the way."

"I'm Kiriko," I said, smiling back. Something about him just drew happiness out of me.

For pretending to be a guy, giving him your actual name is not a good idea. Kiriko is as feminine as you can get.

Didn’t you fail your one year in japanese class?

...a D- is not a failing grade.

"Isn't that a girl's name?" he queried, making me realize my mistake.

Crap! I should've given him a fake name!

We really need to read ahead before attempting comedy.

"Yeah, it is," I said, grimacing slightly as I looked away. I decided to lie, knowing that he would have no way of figuring me out.

Good one. He will find out during the big speech that we will eventually get to.

 "My beta avatar was a girl, but I wanted to have a male avatar this time around. Sadly, I forgot to change the player name."

"Oh, okay!" Klein said, nodding and making his mohawk bob up and down. "Anyway, let's go!"

...So Kiriko is the girl version of Kirito for the actual show. She is pretending to be a boy and has this guy think that in real life she is a he who, when he played the game first played as a girl but then changed back into a boy but is still a girl?

 

«Hunting Grounds»

After using all of my starting credits to buy the level one «Photon Sword», known as the «Beam Blade»

We still don’t care.

we made our way to the «Hunting Grounds», a place just outside the city where we could hunt

Holy shit, stop the presses.

the low-level mobs to replenish our credits. Sadly, I had no idea that that Klein would be so pitiful at mob hunting.

It’s not like he was begging you for tips because he sucked or anything.

"Agh!" Klein shouted, flying back onto his posterior before grasping his groin in what he thought was pain. But of course, GGO had pain absorbers, so feeling pain was really an impossibility. He was just overreacting.

His attacker was a level one wolf-type mob called the «Predator Eater», and it had the lowest HP of all mobs in the game. It also had the lowest attack and defense stats in the game, which only made it even sadder that Klein's HP bar had dipped into the yellow due to the pitiful mob.

And stop right there. I get that you are still ripping off of the show but, He is getting his ass kicked by a wolf…even though he has a gun!!! There is no fucking way, that someone can be that bad. A guy with no arms could still do better than this. The only difference from humans and animals is that we can kill from a distance! A pistol is not a melee weapon.

"Dude, give it a rest. You can't feel pain," I said, putting my hand to my face. "But seriously, how can you not be able to hit that thing? It only takes one direct hit from your gun to kill it, and you can't even do that."

Oh my god thats even worse.

"Hey, screw you, man!" Klein said, giving me an angry look. "It keeps moving around, and my hands keep shaking! Seriously, that thing looks scary as hell!"

I took a look at the low-level mob, sighing in defeat. Its black fur, razor-sharp claws and fangs, and its large size made it look a little intimidating even to me, a player whose sense of fear had long since been eradicated by the excitement of battling mobs of all kinds every day.

"All right, I get it," I said, walking over to Klein with a resigned smile. "Let's teach you how to shoot a mob. Sadly, I forgot to make you buy an «Optical Gun», which would be better for mob hunting. I guess it doesn't matter right now, since it still only takes one shot from what we have to kill it."

By optical gun they mean a gun that fires lasers.

Why is it that the author only goes into detail about everything that doesn't need explaining?

I looked around, trying to find another «Predator Eater» close by.

Because the one that is right next to him that he clearly didn’t kill wasn’t good enough?

 I saw one about eighty meters from where we stood, and I instantly decided to pick that as my example target.

262.467 feet because, America! FUCK YEAH!!

 "All right, I'm going to show you how on that one over there," I said, pointing to it with my right hand.

"Okay," Klein said, looking over to the mob I had chosen. "Wait a second, that one is so far! There's no way you could hit it with the gun you have, especially if you're shooting left-handed!"

...what if she was left handed? Did you ever ask?

Nope. There was super important plot going on for a mundane conversation about peoples feelings, personalities, or any basic shit.

"Watch me," I said, pointing my «Hand Gun» towards the wolf-like mob with my left hand.

In case you forgot, let me repeat all of the little details that I already went over.

I then proceeded to put my index finger on the trigger ever-so-lightly. A small circle appeared in my field of vision near the «Predator Eater», enlarging and shrinking erratically for the first couple of seconds. Soon after, it stabilized, the size fluctuations slowing down along with the beating of my heart.

"Remember, remaining calm is key to being an accurate shooter, especially when shooting from far away," I said, taking a deep breath.

Yes this is how it works in the show.

"As soon as your finger touches the trigger, you'll see a circle in your vision that shows where you're likely to hit. It gets bigger or smaller with your heartbeat, so the calmer you are, the slower it changes. That makes it easier to time your shot right and hit your target.

"Now, if you have it aimed right, then it's best to shoot when that circle is the smallest," I continued, narrowing my eyes slightly. "But if you're aim is bad, then try when it's the biggest, as it'll automatically hone in on your target if it's even partially in the circle.

um..no...unless you have to Auto pistol from Titanfall.

I focused on the circle, making sure it was pointing directly at the wolf's head. With my accuracy, honed from hundreds of hours of playtime in the beta, it wasn't a matter of if I could hit it. No, it was when I pulled the trigger that was important. If I timed it right, I would only need a single shot to kill it.

Even though you clearly stated that it only takes one shot to kill it, no matter where you hit it.

After a few seconds of concentrating on the circle's fluctuations, I waited until it got to its smallest point, and then…

Bang!

Miss.

The sound of gunfire resounded throughout the area, swiftly followed by the sound of shattering glass. I had shot the «Predator Eater» from eighty yards away with the starting gun… and killed it. I had hit it right in the face, and the resulting explosion could be seen and heard even over where we stood, eighty meters away.

Time to highlight your mistakes!

Time for education! 1 meter is 1.09361 yards. 80 meters is 87.4891 yards.

So what? its just a little farther.

And thats the difference between a turnover or a touchdown.

I released a breath I didn't even know I had been holding, turning around to see a shocked Klein. "And that, my good sir, is how you kill a wolf from eighty yards away with the starting gun."

Klein's face remained incredibly surprised for a good five seconds. Then, it instantly changed to an amazed expression. "Dude, that was freakin' amazing!"

"Don't get so excited just yet," I said smugly, pointing to the «Predator Eater» that he had faced earlier,

Which should have killed him by now.

which was only five meters away. "It's your turn now."

Klein donned a look of determination, turning towards the mob and pointing his gun at it. Unlike me, he held his gun in his right hand, I mused.

Muse- be absorbed in thought.

You ain't using it right.

He narrowed his eyes, putting his index finger on his gun's trigger.

Could he have put it on someone elses by mistake?

After a few more seconds, he pulled it.

Bang!

Right on target, the bullet fired from his «Hand Gun»

That is typically what happens when you pull the trigger of a gun.

hit the «Predator Eater» right in the forehead. The resulting explosion of red and orange polygons made me smile at his achievement.

He turned to me, his face a mixture of shock and another emotion I couldn't place.

After a few seconds of silence, he smiled broadly, throwing both of his hands into the air in a victory pose. "Yeah!"

"Congrats on your first kill," I told him, holding out my right hand to him. He met it in a high-five before I continued. "You're a quick learner. But sadly, that was the weakest mob in the game."

Klein looked at me as if I had grown a second head,

Is this a new expression? I have seen this before...Hentai Man no like it.

then shouted, "No way! I thought that that thing had to at least be a mid-level mob for the first zone!"

Even though She said it was the weakest about three pages ago and it only takes one hit to kill.

I looked over to our left after hearing the sound of something spawning.

...but you were facing eachother….

Inception?

Pointing towards the source, I showed Klein the spawning of two more «Predator Eaters». "Of course not," I said, looking back to him with an amused smile.

"Anyway, want to go hunt some more?" I queried. "You seem to have gotten the hang of shooting, so I think you'll be good to keep going."

Query- ask a question about something, especially in order to express one's doubts about it or to check its validity or accuracy.

Good to see he’s unnecessarily branching out in his vocabulary.

He smiled. "Hell yeah!"

«Hunting Grounds Edge»

As we sat together (well, he sat while I stood), 

I take back the slight praze I gave you.

watching the sunset, I couldn't help but feel happy for Klein. The redheaded teen had actually leveled up, and his skills had improved drastically. He seemed even more excited than I was to be playing GGO, which is definitely saying something.

Is it?

"No matter how much I look at all this, I still can't believe we're in a game," Klein said, eyes closed in serenity. "The guy who made this must be a freaking genius. It makes me so glad I was born in this time."

And if you know anything about the show, this is where you should start laughing.

"You make such a big deal out of everything," I chided, smiling despite my words.

It’s my fucking job. So

At this, his eyes snapped open wide, and he looked at me with mock anger. "I can't help it! It's my first «Full Dive»!"

"So this is the first time you've ever used the «Nerve Gear», then?" I inquired, looking at him with slightly widened eyes.

Regular anime eyes.

"Well, it's more like I rushed out at the last minute to buy everything I needed to play GGO," he replied, giving a sheepish smile. 

Sheep: known for their smiles.

"Even though there were one-hundred-thousand first edition copies, I was really lucky to get one of them. The shop my friends and I went to was almost out of stock by the time we got our copies.

So close.

"But hey, you got into the beta test!" he said, looking at me with mock envy. "Which means that you, sir, are ten times as lucky. Only ten-thousand people got that chance."

I averted my eyes, my face slightly red with embarrassment. "Well, I guess so."

"How far did you and the other testers make it, anyway?" Klein asked me.

"Well, the rest of the top players and I all made it just past the tenth «Checkpoint» in the two months of testing," I said, causing Klein to look at me in shock. "But this time, I'm sure I can make it in one."

Wow. Not that many checkpoints in this game. Theres at least five in every level of games nowadays.

"Man, you're really into this," Klein said, smiling broadly. "Not to mention one of the top beta players!"

"Truth be told, during the beta test, GGO was all I thought about," I said, smiling softly as I looked at my gun. "Day and night. In this world, you can get anywhere with nothing but a gun and some ammo. Of course, having a «Photon Sword» helps, too."

I find this offensive. I have a t-shirt with the actual line on it. Now I need to burn it.

I unhooked my

bra :)

«Beam Blade»

:(

Why refer to it as a Beam Blade when literally in the last sentence, they used the correct name for it?

from its loop on my belt, activating it and watching as a white laser with a blue outline came out, stopping at about three fourths of a meter in length. I swung it around a bit, marveling at the sound it made as it tore through the air.

2.46063 feet. For reference a Katana (samurai sword) is 1.9685 to 2.39501 feet long.

Why are you doing all this math?

College is right around the corner my friend. I need to be ready.

...but you're going to an art college...

"So, do you want to go hunt some more?" I queried, deactivating my blade and hooking it back onto my belt. "I can show you what it's like to kill things up close with my «Beam Blade».

Swish swish stab. It’s a sword, not a fighter jet.

"Of course!" Klein shouted, a jubilant expression on his face. However, this expression soon turned apologetic. "I mean, I'd love to, but…"

A loud growling sound could be heard coming from his stomach. I laughed incredibly hard, wiping a tear from my eye before saying, "Say no more; your stomach told me all I need to know."

Klein laughed sheepishly. He then put on a confident expression. "But never fear! I ordered a pizza for five-thirty!"

Five- thirty? They went into the game at 13:00. (1 p.m.) This took them four and a fucking half hours!!!

Which means he'll be logging out soon…

I masked my sadness with a smile. "You're certainly well-prepared."

"Totally!" Klein replied, giving me a thumbs-up. His expression changed yet again, this time to something I couldn't place. "Hey, I'll log back in right after I eat. You think we could get together after that? I can introduce you to my friends I know from another MMO game."

I looked away from his gaze, regret crossing my features. I can't… being social just isn't something I'm able to do well, I thought, my expression grim.

It’s not like I can hang out with someone I just met for four and a half hours.

"It's okay if you don't want to," Klein quickly said, trying to remedy the suddenly-awkward atmosphere. "You do give off that 'solo player' vibe, now that I think about it."

The only thing to ever indicate this is you stating it right now.

If anything, she is a team player. She just brought you up to speed.

"Yeah," I said, turning to look at him with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, and thanks."

"No way! I should be doing the thanking, here," Klein shouted, walking over to me. He put his hands on my shoulders, looking me dead in the eyes with a sincere expression. "Seriously, thanks so much for helping me learn the basics. Why don't we meet up in a couple days, just the two of us? Have some bro time?"

I got this one.

 

I mentally laughed at this, remembering that he thought I was a guy. On the outside, I merely smiled, finding myself giving a response on autopilot. "Sounds good, man."

He backed away, offering his hand. I took it, and we shook. "Sweet!" he replied, letting go of my hand to open his menu. "I'll see you in a couple days, then."

"Message me if you have any questions before then," I replied, getting an enthusiastic nod in response.

"You got it," he said, walking a few meters away before opening his menu.

 

Just as I turned to leave, I heard him say something else. Something that made my blood run cold.

"Hey, Kiriko? Total newb question, but how do I log out? I don't see the button."

"There's a logout button at the bottom of your main menu," I said, trying to mask my nervousness.

Why would this make her nerves? She think she knows where it is.

He can't mean…

"Yeah, but that button's blank."

At this, my blood turned to ice in my veins. I quickly waved my right hand down, opening my menu and scrolling down to the bottom of my main menu. Like Klein said, the button at the very bottom – the logout button – was completely blank.

"You're right…" I whispered, looking at the ground with wide eyes. I could sense it.

Something was wrong.

 

Klein, on the other hand, didn't seem to get the severity of the situation. "Well, it's the game's first day out of the beta," he said, looking at me with a matter-of-fact expression. "There are bound to be some bugs. The server people are probably freaking out trying to get the bug fixed as we speak!"

And now we are directly taking lines from the show. I hate you.

"You'll freak out in five minutes, too," I informed him. "It's five-twenty-five right now. Wasn't your pizza suppose to get to your place at five-thirty?"

Klein's face donned a look of pure horror. "My teriyaki and mayo pizza and ginger ale!"

...they put mayo on pizza?

They have ginger ale in Japan?

He should be drinking

 

"Calm yourself, man," I said, I said,

And with that, your final score on this paper is an F. Plagiarism, horrible sentence structure, and did you even have someone proof read this?

sighing at his dramatic flare. "Just give the GM a call."

GM- Game Master. Someone that is in control of the video game and will help players solve problems.

"I did that already," Klein replied, finally calming down. "But there's no response."

"Well, I guess the GM is probably being flooded with calls right now…" I muttered, looking at the ground to my left.

That specific spot is going to be really important. Just watch.

"Hey, is there any other way to log out?" Klein asked me, looking at me with a hint of desperation in his eyes.

"No…" I responded in a slightly scared tone. "If a player wants to log out, they have to go through the main menu. There wasn't an emergency logout in the manual, either."

"I guess I have to pull the «Nerve Gear» out, then," Klein said. Before he could even attempt his stupid plan, I cut him off.

"Don't bother," I told him, halting him in his tracks. "The «Nerve Gear» intercepts every signal your brain sends to your body before it can get there."

The down side to this is that you won't know when your body needs to pee. When you finish gaming, always check your underwear.

"So… we're stuck until they fix the bug?" Klein asked me, looking just as frightened as I felt.

"Or until someone in the real world removes the «Nerve Gear» from our heads," I added, looking around nervously.

Klein's eyes widened slightly. "But I live alone… what about you?"

"I live with my mom and sister," I informed him, looking aside. "So I think they'll notice by dinnertime…"

In an instant, I found a pair of hands grasping my shoulders. I let out a startled squeak, much to my embarrassment. Klein either didn't notice or didn't care, for he immediately went on to say, "You have a sister? H-how old is she?"

A girl! How old is she? Does she like me? Will she go out with me if I ask? When can I come over for sex?

"Dude, back off," I told him, a stern expression on my face. He obeyed immediately. "She's in a sports club,

True

she hates games, 

False. Also, most sports are games.

and she hates lazy gamers even more."

"R-right… you're the overprotective type, aren't you?" Klein said, a smug look on his face.

Not really. We can’t even identify each other when we spent twelve episodes together. Hell, she started to fall in love with me. This was pointless as we were trying to save my girlfriend while this was going on.

I gave him a glare, quieting him down instantly. Then, I remembered what we had been talking about before. 

Pizza?

"But anyway, don't you think this whole situation is weird?"

"Of course," Klein replied dismissively. "It's a bug, what else would it be?"

"No, it's not just a bug," I corrected him. "The inability to log out would cause serious problems for the future of the game. And on top of that, there's an easy temporary fix that they haven't tried yet."

"What's that?" Klein queried, giving me a curious look.

Just say asked! It sounds way better!

"They could just shut down the servers," I said, my face darkening.

A glitch that the could potentially fix at any given moment will forever hurt the future of the game Vs. making the game crash and everyone is forced out even if they didn’t want to log out.

Crashing or problem that they could be working on and could be fixed any second. Hard choice.

"That would force-logout everyone who's logged in right now. The fact that there isn't even an announcement means that something's wrong."

"Then what do you think hap—" Klein started, though he was almost immediately cut off by a sinister sound emanating from the direction of the «SBC Glocken»…

No fucking clue. Just go with it.

A warning tone? What's going on?

There making that announcement you mentioned 37 words ago.

Just after I finished my thought, a blue light began to engulf me and Klein. After a few seconds, the light was all I could see. When the light subsided, I found myself in the middle of the first city's «Plaza» once more.

Author's Note

So, if anyone is still reading this, then please tell me what you think! Love it or hate it, as long as you don't outright flame, then I'm fine with any review.

Well I did set my shirt on fire so to bad.

I don't really have much to say here that hasn't been said in the top note. I guess all that's left is the disclaimer.

Thats not needed. This was a poor excuse of a fanfiction. All you did was change his gender and replaced swords with guns. Plot and dialogue wize, it was all directly quoted from the show. If you want to be a writer, actually write something! Don’t just change a couple of words and slap it all together.

I don't own the Sword Art Online light novel series, any of its adaptations, or anything I use from them. I make no money whatsoever from this story.

Ciao!

Thank christ it’s over.

That wasn’t to bad. It was just boring as fuck.

Next to nothing happened! I mean...just watch the show! It doesn't take as long and it dos-

 

Hay Hent. I have a Fullmetal Alchemist story for you to get started on.

You can’t make me! Quick escape!

 

Fuck.

Ready to get started?

Never! Quick distraction!

 

Im out!