Review #75

Grandmother's Tuition

Story by J

Review by Ray

(Inspired by Danny)

Danny, I am disappoint.

Without doubt, my favourite activity, or rather inactivity, during those long school holidays in the summer, was to relax in my hammock and catch some rays.


Every hour or so, Mom would bring me a long iced drink to quench my thirst.

Every hour? I could understand it if she brought him a drink once each day, but after that he ought to get his lazy ass out of the hammock and get something for himself.

It sure was a great life. It was on such a day a couple of years ago that it all began.

I lay on my front with my arms overhanging either side of the hammock. The sun on my back always gave me a raging hardon.

Of course it did.

Although in those days everything gave me a raging hardon. I was thinking about Mrs Denman, my English teacher at school. I wondered if she realized the effect that her short skirts had upon her male pupils.

Did the skirt make you write this story? Because if so then fuck that skirt and fuck Danny.

I determined after some contemplation that she new exactly what she was doing,

Evidently it wasn’t teaching him English, otherwise she would be knowing instead of newing.

the teasing bitch. As I thought about what I'd like to do to her, my right hand moved into my shorts and I began to pull on my dick.

You’re outside and your mom makes it a point to bring you a drink regularly; this dude is trying to get caught.

But after just a minute or two I heard the sound of ice tinkling in a glass coming towards me and cursed Mom's timing.

Curse yourself, there were plenty of alternatives.

'Just leave it on the table thanks Mom' I said without looking up. 'You treat your Mom like a slave, you naughty young man' came the reply.

I know right? He’s— wait. Is that who I think it is?

I was surprised by the voice and turned my head to see that it was my paternal Grandmother who had brought me the drink.

It is, it’s grandma! Good, she’ll set this punk straight.

I hadn't realized that she had popped around, and from this part of the back yard I could neither see nor hear anything of the house. She said that Mom had just gone to the supermarket and that she had asked Grandmother to bring me the drink.


We spent a couple minutes on the usual small talk before Grandmother asked me if I would like some more suntan oil on my back. Before I could say no,


Like this protagonist would say no.

I felt the cold splosh of liquid fall onto my skin.

Did she bring that with her? Just how much of this did she plan?

Grandmother massaged the oil over my shoulders at first and then moved down my back. Her hands were soft and I began daydreaming again that it was Mrs Denman doing this to me. Grandmother remarked on what an athletic body I had as her hands moved down lower towards the waistband of my shorts. At one point I could have sworn I felt her nails digging into my hips, but at that time I couldn't tell whether it was real or in my dream.

It’s a short, erotica story anyways; I don’t exactly see the point in making sure we know what the fictional facts and fictional fallacies are.

Abruptly, Grandmother ordered me to turn over so that she could do my front. I couldn't do that because of the tent pole that was in my shorts.

So take the tent pole out, grab a tarp to go with it, and go live in the woods to hide from the shame of writing this.

I pleaded with her that I was OK on my front side, but she was having none of it. The only thing I could do was to wedge the head of my dick against the elastic waistband.

“Don’t mind me grandmother, I’m just gonna grab my dck for a second.”

I fumbled around as inconspicuously as possible

Which for him is about as conspicuous as it gets.

to try and get it done. Eventually I had no choice but to turn over onto my back.

No choice, none? You could walk away, you could insist on staying on your chest, or you could punch your grandma in the face; and those are just off the top of my head, so don’t act like you have no choice protagonist.

I bent my knees up so that I could keep my tool as flat as possible in my shorts, and was relieved to see that the bulge was not as big as I had feared. Grandmother took hold of the oil bottle and slowly poured a stream onto my chest, down over my stomach and let a few drops drizzle just above the waistband of my shorts. I twitched as the cold liquid hit my skin and was horrified to see the tip of my knob staring at me.

Can’t blame him, I’d be terrified if my knob had eyes too.

I was sure Grandmother couldn't see it from her position and prayed for it to disappear.

Careful what you wish for, especially if you’re wishing for your dick to disappear.

I tried not to think of anything sexy, but as Grandmother's soft, wrinkled hands started to roam over my body, I felt my dick start to throb. It wasn't that Grandmother was a real beauty, but I suppose that at that age any woman's hands are a turn on.

Any woman’s? What about two year old, or a zombie, or your grandmother?

I noticed that Grandmother looked a little funny too. She was licking her lips as she rubbed at my chest and spent more time than required, I thought, around my nipples.

More time than required? Isn’t that basically any time at all?

As she moved over my stomach she remarked on how hard it felt. I explained that it was all down to my daily twenty lengths in the pool.

Is that before you become a lazy prick for the day or after you’ve been a lazy prick for the day?

As Grandmother's hands went lower, I began to squirm a little to try and keep my dick under control. But it was no good. I was so turned on that it just popped out, all eight inches of it.

Is his dick a fucking Jack in the box?

I knew how long it was because at that age, size is one of the things that count.

Yes, because you knowing the size of your dick is the only thing in this situation that warrants explanation.

I became all embarrassed and sat up on my elbows to offer Grandmother an apology. 'If you're going to leave it out in the sun', Grandmother began, ' I'd better rub some oil on it so that it doesn't burn'

Fuck you, fuck Danny, and fuck your grandma.

With that, Grandmother poured a few drops onto my shaft. It twitched as the liquid touched the taught hard skin. I could hardly believe what was happening.

Aren’t you the one having this fantasy in the first place?

Grandmother lowered her right hand towards my groin. At last I felt her touch on my prick. She rubbed it back and forth with her palm like it was a rolling pin.

Fine, I’ll give you that one, nice analogy J.

At the same time, she used the flat of her thumb to make circular motions over the slit at the end of my dick. The feelings of pleasure were excruciating.

J, only use contradictory language if you’re making a habit of it.

She had only been touching it like this for about thirty seconds, maybe less, when I felt the juice start to come from my balls.

I’ve identified the problem; J is not a man. If he were, he would know that that’s not what cumming feels like.

I tried to stop myself from cumming, out of sheer embarrassment,


She’s giving you a handjob, it would be more impolite if you didn’t cum.

but to no avail. My body tensed up as a jet of white goo shot up and formed itself into a deep pool around my navel.

I lay back on the hammock and apologized to Grandmother for allowing myself to do such a thing

Don’t apologize to her, she’s the one who did it. Apologize to me for making a story that just begged to be reviewed.

and asked her not to tell my folks and to please forgive me. As she put my now limp dick back into my shorts,

Lazy motherfucker can’t even put his own dick away. There’s a problem in fiction when the protagonist simply allows the story to happen to him rather than being an active part of it; it typically makes for a boring plot. And this son of a son of a whore hasn’t done a damn thing but sit there the entire time.

she said that she was flattered that an old lady could still do that to a virile young man and that I shouldn't worry. Grandmother then asked me if I had a handkerchief to mop up my cum. I explained that I didn't.


She said I couldn't go in the house like that in case Mom was back and saw me, and it couldn't be rubbed into my skin because of all the oil that was on me.

Could it normally be rubbed into his skin? Hm, I have science to do later.

There was only one thing for it she said, and I sat up in amazement as I watched Grandmother bend her head to my stomach.

The only thing remotely amazing about this is that she can bend over that far.

She gripped my hips with her long red nails and poked her tongue out to sample my white cum lake. Grandmother looked into my eyes as she greedily slurped up my juice like a cat at a saucer of milk.

Your word choice is bad and you should feel bad. She’s not being greedy about a damn thing, all things considered she’s actually quite generous.

I felt her nails dig into me as she swallowed my cum and then licked at me some more. At last it was all gone. As Grandmother raised her head, a strand of my love juice pulled from my belly to her mouth like a delicate spider's thread.

No, I’m only calling it love juice if it came from an act of love, and there’s nothing lovable about this protagonist.

She scooped it up with her finger and put it in her mouth. The look on her face as she swallowed that last drop was one of pure lust. 'I'd forgotten just how good a young man tastes' she said.

My breathing returned to normal just as we heard Mom call from the house. Grandmother started to leave but as she did she turned to face me. 'Your Grandfather and some of his buddies are going on an all night fishing trip tomorrow. I wondered if you'd maybe like to come and spend some time with me, Danny?'.

Oh look, he has a name, and it’s a very familiar one. On an unrelated note, I’m getting the impression that there’s a sequel somewhere about what grandpa and his buddies were doing on that fishing trip.

It took no time at all to make up my mind and I told Grandmother that I would like that very much. 'Good', she began, ' make sure you get plenty of sleep tonight, you won't be getting any tomorrow.


Oh and please make sure you shave for me' I felt my cheeks and thought they were pretty smooth anyway.

Congratulations J, you destroyed all hope of Danny having a likeable quality. Not only is his sole character trait laziness, but now we know he doesn’t even have a beard.

'Not there', Grandmother said,' I like a man to have a smooth dick and balls. See you at seven tomorrow'

That night, Mom and Dad seemed surprised that I'd offered to spend the night at Grandmother's house. But I passed it off as my good deed for the week.

He considers visiting his grandma a good deed, I can’t tell whether that’s hilarious or disgusting.

Later, in bed, I pulled myself off a couple of times, wondering what was in store for me.


Grandmother's hands were the first apart from my own to touch me and I thought I have probably found myself a good teacher.

The fuck are you talking about Danny?

The next day seemed to drag, but at last it was seven o'clock and I pressed the doorbell at Grandmother's house. She opened the door and ushered me in. As I entered the hall, Grandmother closed the front door behind me and fastened the top and bottom bolts. 'We don't want to be disturbed tonight, do we Danny?'

No need to lock that door, it’s already disturbing by nature. Not the incest or even the severe age difference, I can live with those; it’s the shitty characters that make me uneasy.

An answer wasn't necessary. Grandmother was wearing a full length black silk robe, but showing a good deal of cleavage. Like I said, she's no Sophia Loren,

You never once said anything about Sophia Whatsertits.

but she's not Grandma Walton either.

We get it, you’re a superficial moron with standards that are too unrealistic for your preposterous ego.

I figured she must be between 55 and 60 years old. She is about a foot smaller than me, which would make her about five two. But she seemed taller tonight, so I guessed she must be wearing heels.

An excellent hypothesis, now why don’t you look for yourself?

Grandmother has short, curly grey hair and is always tanned and well turned out. She isn't fat, but like a lot of old folks she has weight hanging around in places she'd rather not have it.

Grandmother suggested that we go up to her bedroom. It seemed that she was as keen to start this as I was. She opened the door and I followed her in. I still could not believe what was happening.

After exerting no effort you lost your virginity to your grandma; after that happens, I have to think disbelief is behind you for good.

I had never thought incest was my thing, but the thought of banging my Dad's Mom was really turning me on.

That is somehow a much creepier way to phrase it.

Grandmother went across the room and sat on the bed. She ordered me to stand in the middle of the room and strip. As I got down to just my undies,


You can’t be having sex and using the word undies. Once one starts, the other has to stop.

I looked across to see that Grandmother was looking at me the way a lion might look at a sheep.

When. The fuck. Would a lion be looking at a sheep?

There was no desire on my part to hide the bulge that was evident in my shorts. So with great confidence I let them drop to the floor before kicking them away with my foot.

My dick stood out at ninety degrees to my body. Grandmother stood up and walked slowly towards me. As she did so, she began to undo her robe. It parted, and she slipped it from her shoulders and let it drop to the carpet. When I saw what she was like underneath, my dick went almost vertical.

Up or down? That can mean two completely opposite things.

I could see that Grandmother was pleased with the effect she had upon it.

As Grandmother came up next to me I gave her a good look over. She was wearing a black low cut bra that showed the top half of the huge brown saucers that surrounded her nipples. One of the straps was teasingly almost falling off her shoulder. My glance went down past her tanned belly to a thin pair of black thongs that were cut high on her hips. She wore sheer, barely black stockings held up by a garter belt. On her feet were the highest pair of black patent pumps that I had ever seen.


Oh, sorry, is the story still talking? At this point I just zone out when clothes are mentioned.

I put out my hands to touch her but she told me that I had to wait. Grandmother walked around back of me and ordered me to face the front and stand to attention. Suddenly, I felt both of her hands on the top of my back. Softly, her nails traced a path down to my butt. Grandmother gently let her hands roam over my cheeks. At her touch, my whole body quivered in anticipation. Grandmother came around to face me. As her hands wandered over my chest she told me that I was a very handsome boy and that she was going to enjoy having her Grandson in this most personal of ways.

I’m thoroughly disappointed. The story started bad, but now it’s just boring. It’s not terrible writing or even terrible erotica, but it’s not good either and it’s by no means unique.

Grandmother took hold of my hand and led me over to her large bed. She sat down, parted her legs and told me to stand in between them. As I did so Grandmother took hold of my dick and pulled it down so that it was horizontal. She said she was pleased that I had shaved,

Oh look, numbfuck actually did something, it’s a miracle.

and she wet her full red lips teasingly with her tongue. As her mouth opened, she pulled my prick towards it. I saw her tongue flick at the slit in my helmet. My dick twitched in her grip. Then Grandmother looked up at me and with our eyes locked together I felt her hot, wet mouth envelop my knob.

She should be old enough to know that looking at the man you’re blowing is generally a bad idea.

Still looking at me, she allowed more of me into her. I wanted to ram the thing right down her throat but her other hand was pressed firmly against my hip.

And that was the only thing stopping him. David, I don’t normally like to use such harsh language, but you are one unpleasant individual. Sorry you had to hear that.

I felt Grandmother pull back my foreskin and she started to wank me as her head moved back and forth along my shaft. Just like in the garden yesterday, I felt myself start to cum too soon. I wanted this to go on much longer and cried out in disappointment as my load shot into Grandmother's mouth. I could feel her throat muscles contract as she swallowed all that I could make. At last, exhausted, I felt my knees buckle and I collapsed into Grandmother's arms.

Grandmother told me not to be upset and that all young men go through premature ejaculation at first.

Do all men also go through a phase where they fuck their grandma? Because I really don’t like my choices on that one. My dad’s mom is too old fashioned to be on board with that, my mom’s mom is too sweet, and my mom’s biological mom, well, I’ve been told it’s a bad idea to stick your dick in crazy. Also, they’re my grandmas, and to me that would be hard to get past.

She assured me that come morning I'd be able to stay the full course.


Grandmother told me it was time to learn how a woman likes to be pleasured. She told me to take off her panties. As I put my hands on my Grandmother's naked hips for that first time and realized how wrong this was,

Good job David, I’d say you’re two blowjobs too late but it’s better late than—

I felt my prick begin to get hard again.

Dammit David, I don’t even have any moral problem with you fucking your grandma, I just wish you did so we wouldn’t have to read about it.

Grandmother's skin was soft and had that kind of orange peel texture that old skin has. She had a firm tummy for a 60 year old and I was pleasantly surprised that her love handles weren't too gross. I took hold of the sides of her panties and pulled them down passed her knees and off her legs. It appeared that she liked women to be clean shaved as well.

Leaving her left foot on the floor, Grandmother lifted her right onto the bed. As her pussy lips parted, she instructed me to lick her out slowly. Although this was my first time, I had seen enough porn to know what to do.


I rested my hands on Grandmother's stocking covered legs. The feel of the nylon was enough to get my prick rock hard again.

Is there anything that doesn’t make him hard?

I bent my head to Grandmother's love box and flicked my tongue around her swollen flaps. Grandmother reacted as I'd hoped. She let out a soft moan and begged me to go in deeper. Now it was my turn to tease. I told her that I'd get to it in my own good time. I licked up and down her cunt

Jesus Christ, watch your bloody sodding language ya arse felching fuckhead.

the way a dog or cat licks itself clean.

The epitome of romance.

Grandmother's moans became louder now and I felt her hands move to the back of my head to force me deeper inside her. I put my tongue in as far as it would go. She was gushing like a tap. Then I found her button and at the first touch Grandmother went crazy and started to call me all the names under the sun.

I know for a fact that the name Hent was mentioned.

I realized that I'd given my Grandmother an orgasm.

Congratulations on being a deviant, welcome to the club. Beer’s in the fridge and lube’s in the back, try to clean up after yourself.

Almost immediately, she pulled me over to her make up table and told me to sit down on the low, pink, armless easy chair that faced the mirror. I obeyed her command. Grandmother straddled my legs and lowered herself onto my awaiting shaft. I watched, almost in disbelief, as my knob slowly entered my own Grandmother's pussy. She teased me with

Nope, uh uh, you can’t be teasing somebody while you’re fucking them, it defies the basic principles of logic.

slow, circular movements until I was begging her to sit down on me fully. At last, she slipped down onto my rigid pole. I'll never forget that first feeling of impaling a woman with my tool.

And I’ll never forget that unnecessarily violent word choice.

I put my hands underneath Grandmother's butt and began to hump her up and down. I wanted to be even deeper inside her and I felt that I was now in charge. I stood up effortlessly with Grandmother wrapped around my waist and walked over to the wall. Pressing her against it, I fucked Grandmother with long, fast strokes. She had been right about my staying power; I felt like I could go on like this for hours.

That’s just because her vagina is looser than her morals.

With her arms around my neck, Grandmother pulled me to her lips and forced her mouth against mine. We opened up and devoured each other with our tongues and teeth. I was still fucking the ass off her when I carried Grandmother over to the bed and placed her upon it.

Just pick a position already.

I pulled my dick out and roughly turned her over. I noticed that Grandmother seemed to like this rough treatment, so I started to talk dirty to her. I called her all the dirty, old bitch names that I could think of.

“Give it to me Mable, ah yeah Dorothy, just like that. Mm, Mildred, you like that you fucking retard?”

I asked if she wanted fucking some more and she pleaded with me to put it back in her.

It was never going to happen, but how great would it be if she said no?

I gripped her butt cheeks with my hands and forced my rod into her pussy.

As I pumped Grandmother with increasing speed and power, I felt her body shake in orgasm once more. She cried out for me to continue with my thrusts. At last, I could go on no longer. With a feeling from deep inside that I'd never felt before, I emptied my sack into Grandmother. I felt her put her hands on my balls and squeeze them as I came for what must have been a full minute.

If you’re cumming for a minute that’s not a skill, that’s a medical condition. Also, congratulations, you may have just earned the title great grandpa dad.

By the time I'd recovered my breathing, it was still only nine o'clock.

Well yeah, you really think you’re going to keep grandma up all night?

looked across at Grandmother who was now taking her bra off to reveal a gorgeous pair of tanned jugs. 'Want to play with these next Danny?' she asked. 'We've still got another ten hours to go' My dick started to get hard again as Grandmother swung her tits from side to side. As I raised my head to suck on her rock hard nipples, she said, 'And your Grandfather does so enjoy his fishing trips. I think I might suggest that he goes away with his buddies every week.'

Way to set it up for the sequel that nobody asked for.

Send all comments about this story to J.

Dear J: