Review #68

fullmetal twilite

Story by xXxbloodyristsxXx

Review by Ray

This is by a writer claiming to be Tara Gilesbie. Is she full of shit? Probably. But let's take a look anyways.

AN: i decidded 2 rite a 1shot bcuz some1 on tumblr requesstede dis story if u hav any requestz ask ma on tumblr or pm me k

No thanks, I do all my own stunts writing stunts.


Oh, really? Okay then.


"oms whoo r u" Edward sed


Well that didn’t take long. This story can actually be entertaining if you take it as a challenge to decipher what it means. Not in terms of an ambiguous plot like in a good story, but in terms of the most basic events. OMS, for example, means oh my Satan, but no ordinary person would know that. To learn that it takes some sort of traumatic event, like your family being killed before your eyes, or reading My Immortal, or being trapped in a burning clown orphanage, or reading My Immortal 2.

"im eddward cullenn" edwrad sed

"o kool im erward alrik"

"woha dats kool"


This dialogue, it’s just so natural, so realistic. The cold exchange of facts, the restating of how cool things are, the use of acronyms in verbal communication; who here could do it any better?

bella smelled at edaward "hey sexy"

She’s turned on by smells, interesting.

"dewd im ur bf not him" edwarrrd sed

Mhmm, brace yourselves, because we’re going there.

"oms im soooo sory u 2 look like exactly da saem" bella expunded


Yeah, exactly the same. In case you couldn’t tell the difference, that’s Cullen on the left and Elric on the right. Though honestly, this doesn’t seem too out of character for Bella.

"its ok sweey" edward said

"don't hit on ma gf u fukin alchemisist" Eedward said

Says the sparkly bitch.

"im sory i thought i was u cuz we look so much alikee" edward saed


"orite" edwaerd said back

"i hav an idea letz all go out 2gether" bella saidd

"yeah kool" dey all ejaculated


dey went 2 a bar

"i want a beer"


Thus ends the incredibly important bar scene.

when dey went home, edwward nd bella sarted making out in da back seat. Edward didn't mind eddward making out wit his girlfriend becaus dey looked liek each odder and had da same name so it wasnt really cheeting.

Fine, good, as long as all three delusional idiots are happy.

when dey woke up da next mornin bella asked if dey both wanted 2 go out wit her bcuz den shed have "twoo edwardss 2 do sex and romancnce with."

dey agreeed