Review #67

A Team Fortress Fanfic

Story by Roisu

Review by Ray

They forgot one word in the title, and that word is bad.

Snipers  , was lookjing at the Spy on his video fphone . Spu was very hansome to sniper so sniepr smiled alot  of smiles at him.

Okay, two sentences in and we’ve already established quite a bit. Nothing relating to the story, but we now know that English is this person’s second or third language, and that spellcheck means absolutely nothing to them.

“oh sNipers” saiid spy with his spy-voice “I miss be] in the same  town as   you”

“me to’ agreed SNiper; “you rae two far aways!!!!”

“the tings I want todo to you” spy said



“at thenights i always touch is goood but not as good aswhen you’are here.”

‘talk the dirty„  to me sppy” snpier askes


i will fuck youj as hard you take. your butt wo’nt like it so toomuch but your but wil likes it lotss .

Your butt won’t like it, but it will also like it a lot.

 fuck will fuck youfor ours

Fuck will fuck youfor ours right back at’cha Roisu.

and you wioll gasp within plesure of me> My tonge fondl your junk and bllas and you will coum relly allot … , „ .,”

Why do I get the feeling this is just ripped from a bad roleplaying chat room.

Holy shit, you might be right. It would explain the grammar if nothing else.

“ “ “ oh 0spy tho  are th best talk tdirties. now I am wet like the girl n my sexings parts.

Sexing parts. That is all.

lests secx  rite noww ”

sni pper jump thru the fideo screen and wanted two fukc the spyh buth the spy saids ‘no we dCANOT do thios/”


Seriously Spy, Sniper jumped through a damn phone just to be with you.

“Why nto aks the s niper frown

need the y lube or  the buts hurt bad owch”   |

“Youj care baout my buttttt this is ture love xoxoxoxoxoxxxoxoxxxx” “ “’’’”j…j;jj

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man care about another man’s butt.

-John 15:13

Such beautiful/gay poetry.

“BUT OHNO ‘exclame Syp we out are out f petrolum jello’’

Could you mean jelly?


sokay ihave these luubs”  Snipe pusehd in2 his butt the shiet form his bed


Bedsheets, what better lube could there possibly be? On the bright side, I no longer think petrolum jello was a typo.

“yes the sheeet will makeh good lubee make teh sexx safe and gud maek us cumm lots”

snipir go on his back  and stre tch out the legs so spy can make him fucke d dogg  style  .they sexxed liek that ten hours straight (but they is gaytrololool)


and maed many cums adn made orgas ims laot. „ Spy tie up the SNipper w/ fuzz handcupps and ropes and made more sexes for more tiem.

You can really feel the passion in this writing. The voice is so caring, not at all like somebody texting it to us.

Snipe never had so  mauch sexise b4 and he  luved it lots wantedd get fcuked like godo slutt

I’m glad he’s happy, now please go to hell.

Aw, but then I have to be around him for eternity.