Written by Kasper A. Vestergaard back in 2007, this story is pretty harmless but ripe for mockery nonetheless.
Sonic was run forum eggmen Eggmen have plan to hurt sonic with lazers,
sonic was afrayed. He ask kuckels for guidance becuz kuckels was strong and strong peepole are snart
Not to say that the two characteristics can’t coexist, but no.
nut kuckels wuld not halp becuz he waz two bizzy reeding bocks and lifting wayts at the same tym. He ascked tales but tales did not halp becuz he was two bizzy doing nurd stuff. He ask amy two halp and she sed "yes".
Ah, finally someone willing to help. I was worried we’d have to read about the entire cast telling Sonic to fuck off.
Amy wanted to kiis sonic but sonic was moar afrayed of that then the lazers so he runs away agin.
Good call Sonic, bitches be crazy.
Sonic now go to chow land. He forums army with chow to stop eggmen.
Because if there’s one thing the Chao are known for, it’s kickin’ ass.
The chows were rely god at fight and smart tey leiked sonic a lot to. Snoc brings chows two eggmens seecrit bays
Eggman really isn’t great at hiding his secret bases, is he?
nd the chows flew in and kills roboots. Eggmen had rage and he shoots his lazers at them but he missed and then he sed "darn it".
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah-
Watch your language.
On chow got hurt and sonic had take chow to doctor in middle of fight
Wow, so only one Chao got hurt during the entire operation? Well I take it back, either Eggman needs to step up his game or those little bastards are killing machines.
"youre chow has ayyds" sed chow doctor.
His Chao has AIDS. I can’t decide if this is sick or hilatious.
"you had halp her buy take her to majik well in bathroom".
Sonic takes him to the bathroom and dunked him in the weel. "haha thatss rely a toilet and I just ped for a rely lawng tym" sed chow doctor.
Give Sonic some slack, he is a hedgehog after all.
"you chow just have canser, tats all
you have to feed him and take care of her and play with it and make him happy that's how chows get rid of canser it takes a rely lawng tym but youre chow will be feyen when she deonst had canser no moar so doont worry aboot it"
First of all, “feed him and take care of her and play with it.” But more importantly; dafuq? Not only do Chao get cancer, but it’s caused by lasers and cured by happiness?
"o ok I c"ed sonic.
Good call once again Sonic. Kooties are worse than lasers, and if there’s one person who you can trust, it’s the doctor who advised you take the Chao who needs to be happy to live and dunk it in the toilet.
Ten sonic lets the oter chows keep fite at eggmens bays and he stay in chows world. Ten kaspar the heghog (me) caym to chow world. "hi sonic" I sed.
Oh, so this is first person now. Well, welcome to the story narrator, I must say you’re a little late.
"oh hello want be frnd" sed sonic. "ya I do" sed me. "ok lets go fight eggmens" sed sonic.
Honestly, I think the army of Chao probably took care of that a long time ago.
"tat sownd grate" I sed.
The end. Thank you Kasper, for that wonderful contribution to the world of literature. I’m sure Sonic Team will consider it for the plot to Sonic Adventure 3, when and if they get around to it.