Review #30

patshley luv

Story by turntechGoclheacl

Review by Ray




Normally when Fluff shows me a story, it's something that kills my faith in humanity and makes me want to down an entire box of Fukitol. But this time, he has imparted upon me better words than I have ever read. If Morgan Freeman read this out loud, it would only bring it down. If it were added to the Bible, every other word of that book would be ignored in favor of this. Juliegirl22 encouraged its author to use spellcheck and I encourage Juliegirl22 to go fuck herself in the ass with a loaded shotgun. This is patshley luv, it may be short but it's the best thing I or anyone else who is so lucky with ever read.


ok so patdick wuz like "wanna ride me like a mekanical bull"

Such elegance, such intricacy. Observe the way turntechGoclheacl, the author of this masterpiece, has changed the name Patrick to patdick, a subtle nod at what is to come. The misspelling of mechanical, disregarded by some as a typo, likely means much more that we could ever hope to imagine, and I don’t dare speculate for myself.

and asslee wuz all lik OMG OKAAAAY!

And here, we see that Ashley has become asslee, yet another reminder of what has been and what always will be. The lack of punctuation around the speech of course shows great uncertainty, not in the characters who are naively certain, but rather in the mind of the knowing narrator, showing that the words themselves are just as fragile as what their very meaning. Look at the abbreviation of OMG within the dialogue, see how it reveals asslee’s character, know that you will never write anything as good as this and any attempt would certainly be fruitless.

they fukd like bunnes 4 hOURS!

Personally, I regard this as the greatest sentence within patshley luv, for its meaning disguised in its simplicity. The way turntechGoclheacl used 4 instead of the more conventional for surely shows that patdick and asslee may have fukd like bunnes for several hours, or eactly four, but that regardless, time itself is subjective and a useless thing to hold onto.

they hopeed and hopped along omg SEX!

Yes, the driving force behind humanity and intelligent life itself, sex. The thorough capitalization underlines just how important it is, for patdick, asslee, and everyone who has ever lived. Also note the recursion of omg, now left in the lower case just to accentuate how important a theme sex is, both in the story and in reality, two things we can only hope will someday be one in the same.