Review #206

ETERNAL LOVE [Kai Hiwatari X Reader]

Story by ANIME

Review by Ray




Warnuts and I were searching for a new story to review for like literally an hour, and we have made a discovery: all of the writing on the internet is shitty but boring. Going on a dive into Wattpad, I also made a second discovery: Wattpad users are pioneering a brave new medium of storytelling that's like, kind of a story, but also kind of a powerpoint presentation of pictures they found on google images of attractive people and expensive shit. Today's story is an example.

CHARACTER'S DESCRIPTION

Ah yes, the glossary, that thing that goes at the start of a story!

Shamita Hiwatari

So is this based off something?

It's written by ANIME, so, I guess it's based on... anime? Doing some image searching it is very possible that the author is just stealing someone else's anime OC.

This one's gonna hurt.

Kai Hiwatari

If you can find the ripcord on the back of his head you can spin his hair like a bayblade. Let's skip some of these characters. As it is I'm going to edit these pictures in Paint so that it counts as meme/parody for our purposes. Also: the black borders around these bother me, like you can't crop your shit you're stealing?

I'm sure there's no examples of borders on images on our website.

Shamita's Necklace

IN THE CHARACTER DESCRIPTION, YOU HAVE HER FUCKING NECKLACE?

Maybe it's like a magic anime talking necklace?

IT FUCKING BETTER BE.

Shamita and Kai's Wedding Ring

Why are you spoiling all of this? At this rate I could just read your character description and not have to read your shitty story.

NEW DAY OF NEW LIFE

Shamita's POV:



I woke up from bed and stretched.I then changed into this and went for Jogging.

It took us all of three seconds to google an image of an anime girl stretching. Was that too much effort for this story?

After Jogging I went to bathroom for bath and changed into this.

Like imagine opening an actual book and seeing this.

Then I wore my necklace .

Because clothing description is hard!

Tara would be disappointed.

Then I went to my room and took my phone and purse.Then I went to my brother's room but when I was going to knock it opened. I went inside

So this literally is just "Pictures I found on google images" the story.

And if you're not taking the time to describe things, it feels so rushed. Granted, I don't know why I want to know what she had for breakfast, but still.

and saw my brother in front of mirror getting ready.

Wow that's not even a watermark that's just literally the title of the thing you're stealing from. Like, I know this is glass houses/throwing stones territory with all of the reaction images we use in our reviews, but at least our reviews usually aren't trying to be art in their own right? This definitely feels different.

I smiled and hugged him from back. He chuckled and hugged me back tightly.

They fuckin? Look at that hug, they fuckin.

I said,"Big brother I came to tell you that today is your meeting with Voltaire Hiwatari and after that you are free but as today I have to meet my friend so I can come a little...."

He chuckled at me and said,"You are my little sister so it's my responsibility to look after you. Ok but come before end of meeting. It is very important meeting of your life."

I smiled and hugged him tightly and he smiled and pat my head. I then quickly went to my room and changed into this.

Holy shit! Paragraphs!

Maybe soon we'll get actual description! Describing things in the story helps me to know it better! Like if you just say "My brother was there" and there's a picture of your brother, I don't know if he's a friend, foe, I don't know what you're trying to teach me about your world here.

I then went downstairs and then kitchen to eat breakfast and after I ate I went outside.

I waited for a moment when I saw a bike. I smiled and hugged him tightly. He too hugged me back and removed his helmet.

Be honest, did you just include these characters because you found pictures you liked?

I feel like it took them longer to find the pictures than it did to write the story.

I feel like those two processes were actually the same process.

[Editor's Note: Okay guys I'm calling this review here. Reader, let me tell you two things about this review. Thing 1: the entire rest of the story is this: a few lines of text, an anime picture/gif to match the text, repeat. Thing 2: WE WROTE THIS REVIEW FOR A DIFFERENT STORY THAT THIS AUTHOR WROTE. Originally this was a review of Pain of Illegal Love by ANIME, but then Ray procrastinated formatting the review for the website for multiple months, and by the time he got around to it, the original story had been deleted. So we just... put the same jokes on another one of ANIME's stories, almost word for word, and they still worked. Like, down to the order that a necklace and a wedding ring/dress and a brother's room and a brother appear in in the story. It does diverge after this which is why we're calling it here, but like... my word. Stunning.]