Review #204

Mommy's New Baby

Story by spyleader149

Review by Warnuts




Welcome back to Ray And Warnuts Review Fanfiction That Was Recommended To Us A Long Time Ago In Emails But We Never Got Around To Before!

Aka, welcome back to hell.

[Editor's Note: Up next is Mommy’s New Baby, by spyleader149. They deleted it from DeviantArt so I guess we’re doing nothing this week oh well.]

Wait!

Got it :3. Just had to put the url into Wayback machine, click on their one snapshot of the page that they had, get past the broken age gate by looking at the raw html, ez pz. Clearly this was the best use of my talents.

Thanks Ray.

I already regret it but you’re welcome.

I was walking down the hallway towards lunch at school. I used a side hallway, so I was alone. But suddenly, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw Taylor standing there.

Is this like... actual people from her school she’s trying to boink? This worries me.

I liked Taylor, and I think she knew it too. But she had a boyfriend. And whenever she broke up with her boyfriend, she somehow got another one the next day.

If you like her so much then get in line, geez.

She wasn't a slut, as she never had sex with any of them,

How do you know?? Why do you know??

but she did jump from guy to guy pretty fast.

She was from Pakistan. But she didn't look like she was. She was really pretty and only abut 5' 2" tall.

Are Pakistanians like, tall and ugly? What does that mean?

She had beautiful makeup, and her hail looked like it was always just done by a professional at a salon.

Haha, her hail. I just picture her walking around with ice pelting people with it.

Plus, she always had the best wardrobe.

I mean, at least this story is actually going through the effort of establishing character and a bit of setting. Like, so far my main complaint about this story is that it’s called Mommy’s New Baby.

I couldn't believe she was there.

What if she’s not? What if you’re in a padded cell?

Se never really spoke to me that often. I was 5' 10" and only weighed 115 pounds.

I always find it slightly weird when authors give specific measurements of people? I don’t like, have a strong argument against it, it just strikes me as a slightly cop-outty, like they knew they wanted to describe the character but didn’t want to do it like, with interesting language? idk. Also unless it's really obviously out of whack like 4'1" and 600lbs it doesn't give me a very strong mental image anyways.

I was very skinny, some might even say lady-like.

Arrrrre yoooou a laaaaady?

I mean, I guess?

"Can I talk to you for a second?" "Um, sure, ya. Whats up?"

She had a long drawn out sexy voice.

That actually sounds like it would get annoying very quickly. “Hey can you point me to the science room?” “Yeaahhhhhhh, gooooo down thiiiisssssss hallll—” “Fuck nevermind I’ll find it myself.”

I was afraid she was going to see my erection.

Okay yes male. Ahhh high school.

"Can we talk somewhere quiet?"

Weren’t they already in a hallway no one else takes? Is it like that Key and Peele skit?

"Sure ya."

"Come with mee."

She gently grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bathrooms AT THE COLLEGE THEY WERE BOTH CURRENTLY ATTENDING AS ADULTS.

Ray we reviewed Cub Training Institute, I think we’ve done worse. Also I know this is like the fourth time in four reviews Cub Training Institute has come up, which I’m not proud of.

She got to the girls room and continued inside.

"Uh…." I started

"Oh its ok. No ones in here and I just wanted a place to talk.

"Ok"

Plus no one goes into the bathroom with three or four of her friends, never happens.

She stopped in front of the sinks.

"Ok. So I was thinking yesterday, and i wanted to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

I don’t know who either of the characters are very well and some dialogue tags would be really helpful if you want me to care.

Right? The only time in one of our reviews where “Doug:” “Taylor:” would actually be good.

But then someone walked outside past the door to the bathroom.

Shocker!

Shoulda stayed in the hallway.

She clearly didn't want to be heard, because I couldn't believe the suggestion that came out of her mouth next.

"Here. Get inside."

She was holding open the doors to one of the stalls.

I went inside

This feels like Alice drinking the Drink Me potion in Alice in Wonderland.

and she came in afterwards, shutting the door.

How much extra privacy is that really going to give you?

Maybe the girls bathroom has soundproof stalls or some shit, but yeah.

She and I were facing each other, the toilet to my left,

Oh is he going to be part of this conversation?

the door to my right. She was so close to me. Again, I was afraid she was going to see, or feel the large nudge in my pants.

Oh that’s right I forgot this was even a dude. After the initial setup these characters have had no distinguishing characteristics between the two of them. Also, "Nudge?"

"Ok so I wanted to tell you something. I've been thinking about you a lot lately."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I really like you David…."

Heyyyy! How far into the story and we finally get a name.

"Taylor…"

She leaned forward slightly…

I knew it was my chance, I kissed her. Her lips were so soft and pink.

Did he feel how pink they were?

I could feel her warmth. Then she put her hand on my chest. It was so soft, and I could feel her long pink fingernails on my chest. Then I felt my erection growing stronger.

I felt it touch something.

“Hers was bigger than mine!”

She was so much shorter then me, that my erection had poked her just above her jeans. She looked down as well, then looked bak up at me, her eyes wide.

"Its so big…"

I kissed her again, I couldn't believe where I was: In a stall of the girls bathroom, kissing Taylor, the girl of my dreams.

Then he did something I never would have expected of her.

I knew it!

I genuinely can’t tell if that’s an accidental reveal or just a typo.

She pushed me down on to the toilet seat, and then sat on my lap, her legs spread wide.

“This year for christmas I want a new pony and a barbie, but not a bratz doll!”

I thought everything was going well…. then suddenly I couldn't move my left arm…. then I couldn't move my right. I looked, and she had used zip ties to tie my hands to the metal pole that protruded though the length of the wall!

Is this man about to get literally murdered?

Also how do you not notice that?

"What are you doing?"

"Do you really think I like you David? You're a pale skinny ginger. "

“Well you’re a short bitch!”

"But…"

"But what? i just said all that to get you in here. And now that you're tied up, the real fun can begin."

I DON’T LIKE THE REAL FUN.

"What do you mean?…"

She didn't answer, but I saw what she meant.

There a nudge in her pants too?

She had pulled a diaper out of her bag.

You just carry one of those with you at all times?

The diaper was adult sized and pink with white lace on every edge. She ran her tongue across her upper lip seductively.

Is she—I think she’s into him again? Okay.

Then she walked towards me

What do you mean she walked towards you! A) there’s no room, and B) she’s on your lap! Did she just do a crotch shuffle?

and unbuckled my belt, and pulled my pants and underwear off with one tug.

That is an impressive tug.

Especially because he still has his shoes on.

Then she threw them over the top of the stall to the stall next door.

Okay rude.

I could see where she was going.

You know I really can’t. I’m still trying to figure out how he’s zip tied to a poll in a way that she could have done it without him noticing.

She tried to put the diaper on me, but I kicked my legs up and down.

Aha! I see you have studied how to use Agripa!

Then i started to yell for help. But it didn't last for long. She quickly pulled out a ball gag and put it around my head,

From the Gimp District.

placing the pink ball into my mouth.

Man does this bitch have to have everything in pink?

Then she grabbed one leg with both of her hands and stuck the diaper through it, then did the same with the other leg. The diaper was on both legs.

Thank you I can add.

Well, he does still have that third leg.

I knew I had been defeated.

Not really they’re pretty easy to break.

I couldn't get it off with both my hands tied to the metal pole behind me.

So there is a metal pole behind… hmmmm…

It would be neat if this story do the work to establish important setting/character details instead of us having to Memento our way through them.

She slowly pulled the diaper up my legs. I started to get an erection,

Started?

Also, why?

and she saw it.

"Ohhhh do you like this David? Do you like wearing a pink diaper with tonsss of lace?

Okay who the fuck makes lacey diapers to begin with?

Actually a lot of female adult diapers do look lacey so that if they show they look like underwear.

You are my only friend who would know that for non-sex reasons.

I see you shaking your head no, but I know that a man's true feeling are expressed by his dick.

Not in high school, man.

You like this very much my little sissy boy."

Okay so I don’t like it but this is definitely waaaay better than where my imagination went with the title Mommy’s New Baby. That had soooooo much bad potential.

She got to the top and let go. The diaper was encasing me. I could feel the soft feel of it constricting my erection. Then she pulled a adult sized pink baby dress

wat

and a pair of scissors. The dress was really short and just like the diaper, had white lace bordering every stitch.

I’m just trying to figure out how long she had been planning all of this.

She must have a very deep purse. Is Mr Tumnus going to pop out next?

She cut off my shirt

Dude! I get that you can’t take the shirt off because his hands are tied, but—

and my left hand zip tie.

DUDE! What if that was his favorite shirt!

Then she stuck my arm through the left hole and put another zip tie on my hand.

“At no point did I think to use this opprotunity to work towards an escape.”

She did the same thing with my other hand,

“Again, my boner, like kryponite, prevented me from attempting to resist.”

and pulled the dress down over my head. I blinked as it came down over my head. When I opened my eyes, I was wearing a pink dress and a pink diaper,

The fact that you blinked really had nothing to do with that.

and my hands were both tied behind me, unable to aid me in my situation.

If only they had been free for a minute.

Taylor was standing in front of me with her hand on her hips.

"Are you broken yet you sissy bitch? Oh!! Wait! I almost forgot!"

She reached into the bag and pulled out

A satyr!

a tiara that matched the dress and diaper:

Pink with lace? Honestly that’s just gonna look terrible. And that’s coming from the guy who only wears like three shirts.

it was pink and fluffy and it had white lace on the edges. It was clear that Taylor had bought all of this from some sort of set.

Is that really what you’re the most preoccupied with right now?

She grabbed two more zip ties and tied each of my feet to two more metal poles that were along the sides of the bathroom stall. My legs were spread wide and I was afraid she was going to hit me there... and she could tell I was thinking.

"No I'm not about to hit you. I don't want to ruin that precious penis of yours. We're going to need it in a few minutes."

“Y… yaaaaay!(?)”

Then she went again into her back and pulled out fluffy pink and white laced slippers and stuck them on each foot.

Ugh. Slippers? With a dress? What the fuck.

"Thats it for the clothes!

Oh thank god.

But now we get to do your makeup!

Fuck you god.

I can't wait to see how it turns out!"

She went into her bag and pulled out a makeup kit. She put foundation on me,

Why has this gone full My Immortal all of the sudden.

then put on a lot of blush.

"Babies have round rosy cheeks, so thats what you're going to have!"

“Babies also don’t get tied to handicapped bathroom rails?”

Usually that ends in social services.

Then she put the makeup away and pulled out multiple bottles. I couldn't tell what she was going to do with them, but she put them on the floor.

Well that’s just very unsanitary.

"Enjoy this part my little sissy, because its only going to happen once."

Who… which of them is into this? Is just she into this? Are both of them? Neither? It seems like somebody is being assaulted but this story is very poorly written.

She got on top of me and started making out with me. She rubbed my dress into my chest and then she pulled the diapers down slightly. She started rubbing my cock as she kissed me. Eventually I was afraid I was going to cum. Then she got off of me but continued to rub my cock with one hand. Then she picked up one of the bottles with her other hand and held it under my dick. She gave one last firm squeeze, and I started to cum. She caught every single drop of it in the bottle.

I don’t like any of the directions this could possibly go.

Then when the bottle was full, she went into her bag and pulled out the cap to the bottle. It was a baby bottle's cap! Then she used the second bottle to catch more cum.

This guy a fucking zebra?

Even just one of those… Also! If she had to go back into the bag, she… and it’s going to be too thick for the… she did not think this one out well. I don’t want to think more about it either.

Then she stood over me.

"Since you're missing lunch, I can imagine you're pretty hungry. Right?"

I frantically shook my head no. She just smiled and winked at me.

I don’t think she should have kids.

"Oh but I bet you are. A growing boy like you needs to eat. You need to grow big and strong. I have your favorite food right here baby"

Seriously, don’t have kids.

She leaned in and took off the ball gag and let it fall around my neck. Then she started to feed the cum-filled bottle to me!

Why is this the first thing that gets an exclaimation mark?

Why are you noticing that?

We've always been about doing very serious reviews of very serious literature!

I tasted the bitter cum as she forced me to suck it out of the bottle.

I am skeptical of the nutritional value of this tbh

Then she kept filling up bottles with my cum,

Is he still jizzing???????

and feeding it to me over and over.

Oh I guess maybe this story makes sense if they’re here over the course of a hundred years.

It’s probably not a hundred year long lunch period.

I was getting really full,

I mean. Okay. I’m not a biologist, but I think yo nuts have a vastly smaller storage capacity than your stomach, surely. Hopefully.

and I wanted to stop cumming,

OH, he is still cumming, okay.

Also she’s doing this whole thing dry, so his junk must be raw.

but something about Taylor standing over me and feeding me a bottle as if she was my mommy kept me going for longer then normal.

Howwwww do we even touch this one?

Sigmund Frued and Oedipus would be proud of out.

Once she had filled up at least 10 bottles of my cum, she left the stall, and came back a minute later with a stroller. She pulled the diaper back up my legs, and cut the zip ties off of the feet.

“I immediately kicked the shit out of her and beat her with the stroller.”

She placed my butt in the stroller, but I couldn't stop her, my hands were sliding around on the metal bar with the zip ties attached. Then she zip tied my feet to the front legs of the stroller, I couldn't move again!

Yeah I’m sure those strollers are so sturdy and stable you couldn’t possibly resist in the slightest.

Then she cut off the zip ties on my hands and put them through a hole in the bottom of the seat of the stroller. She pulled them through the hole and handcuffed them together under the seat.

Wow, you’d think she would have used those the whole time instead of the zipties.

The real crime of this story was how non eco friendly it was.

The thick metal made my hands so wide,

wut

I couldn't pull them back up through the hole, from the front, it looked like I was sitting on my hands.

Presumably still cumming like old faithful.

The she put the gag back on and started to wheel me out of the girl's bathroom.

“She was immediately stopped by the principal and expelled from the school.”

"A mother always puts her baby before herself, so I fed you first. But now mommy is hungry too sweetie. We're going to the cafeteria so mommy can eat. Does that sound good?"

I tried to say no but the ball gag prevented me from saying anything but

"Mmmppphhh!!!"

"I knew you'd think so! You can meet all of mommy's friends! And if they want, they can feed you too! I bet you're still hungry!"

"Mmmph! Mmph!!"

"Stop shaking the stroller Sarah! Oh did I not tell you?? Your name is Sarah! That is what I decided to name you! You're my first born! My sweet little baby girl!"

So she is like literally insane.

Is anyone else getting Sleepaway Camp vibes from this shit?

We got to the cafeteria, and she rolled me over to a table filled with pretty girls talking. I knew all of them too, and when they saw use coming,

Typo. Maybe they deleted the story out of embarrassment over that.

they started giggling and their eyes got really wide.

"Ladies, this is my daughter! Sarah!"

"She is so cute!!"

"How old is she? She is a big girl!"

"You girls can feed her if you want! I have her lunch right here!"

But we’ve established that he already ate!

You don’t overfeed your babies!

She pulled out her bag which still had a good ten bottles of my cum.

I thought she only had three bottles!

Also, they were a “good” ten bottles of cum, as opposed to the ones that she filled up from his dick faucet halfway.

She went to go get her food while her friends all took bottles and took turns putting them into my mouth. I was so full, but they just kept feeding me the bitter liquid.

Man eat more pineapples, fuck.

Maybe that’s what we’re supposed to learn from this story. That, and if someone asks you to talk in the girl’s room, say no.

Once Taylor got back, she fed me little spoonfuls of applesauce that she had got just for me.

At least she’s giving him real food now. Good parenting. Mother of the year.

At first I was happy to get some real food, but the combination of applesauce and cum was awful.

Yeah I imagine cum doesn’t pair well with much, but I'm sure there are people out there on the internet right now actively trying to prove me wrong on that one.

The rest of the day wasn't any better. She kept wheeling me around to her classes

And her teachers were fine with this apparently. What’s wrong with your school dude?

and every once and a while she would feed me some more cum. Then she took me home with her. When we got inside her house she took my out of the stroller and pulled my upstairs.

More typos? Does that mean this is where the author started masturbating?

My legs were asleep, I hadn't used them in hours. She pulled me into her room and put me in a crib she had set up.

This is like, well planned. It had to be really expensive.

She kept me tied to the crib, and fed me one last bottle of cum.

Is this where the murder happens?

Then she put the ball gag back on me.

"Now get a good night sleep my little angel! I'm taking you to school tomorrow again!"

👎