Review #179

Benwars

Story by NotRay_Thompson

Review by Ray




Hello everyone, Ray found this wonderful short, short story on Wattpad moments after it was posted, want to tell us about it Ray?

Oh yes, of course. Hent, Martin, and myself just got back from seeing the new Star Wars movie. I would’ve seen it with Hent on opening night, but instead I went to see The Good Dinosaur. 10/10 would see instead of Star Wars again.

Ray. The story.

Ah, right. Just as soon as we got back, we spent two minutes writing something completely unrelated to the movie. Then we uploaded it to a site that totally wasn’t Wattpad. Then we found a story on Wattpad that had been uploaded seconds after we arrived at the site. And it was about Star Wars! Crazy, right?

The wonderful author is named NotRay_Thompson. Ready to review Hentai Man?

Yes I am Martin Daniels. Ray Thompson, are you ready to review?

Let’s do this shit.

Hrrison Ford walked onto the bridge thingie. Ugh. Stupid fucking prep. I was wearing black robes with a black mask and claxk combat boots with a red lightsaber that kinda looked like an inverted cross xcept not bcos I'm goffic.

Where have I seen this before…

We just saw the movie, remember?

But who the hell is Hrrison Ford?

"Ben!" he yelled preppily.

Most underwhelming name reveal ever.

I laughed aloud in the theater.

We all did.

"That's not my name anymore omfs you're not my real dad!111 my name is emo lord Kylo Ren Kawaii'chan 666 san death-the-kid-from-that-one-anime-my-mom-let-me-watch-once " I shotted back at him. Goffickly.

I am ok with this...and I am not ok with that.

den we talked. den i took of my helmet and showed him my face. i was wearing white foundation wif black eyeliner and long blacj hair that make me totally look like marylin manson.

At the moment, Ben is acting more like prequels Anakin than Darth Vadar Anakin.

‘Cause if there’s one thing people loved, it was Prequels Anakin. And prequels fight scenes. And prequels Jar Jar. And the prequels in general.

"i need u to help me take da pain away!" sed me.

"k he said

my litesaber went swoosh swoosh swooosh and den he was DIED!!11111!1

OOOOhhhhhh nooooooooo the excessively foreshadowed death of a main character! I never saw it coming!!!!!!

Whoever this NotRay_Thompson guy is, he sure has a good sense of humor. I bet he’s handsome too.

I never saw that Ray and Ben are cousins either.

then he fell down the pit of dispair that every Star Wars movie has to have. then ray kilbed up a lader in the cold with no gloves on and it ruined the verisimilitude of the whole movie.

Whoever this NotRay_Thompson guy is, he took the words right out of my mouth. 10/10 best author of 2016.

The End.