This story was recommended by shadhardblogger. Who's shadhardblogger? Here's how she says it:
I am shadhardblogger. I am the one who requested you The Death of Nick, My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside, Sonichu by Chris-Chan, I'm Not OK (superkawaiigurl225), Lost Rose and Flesh by xxxsodomxxx, Kasper A. Vestergaard's kuckles save sonic by rly doesn't, Every1 hates tale becuz he r beter, Dorah the Xplorah by PrincessHimeOfDreamsChan, Sandy Has a Baby by iKillFaguts, the 2nd Hans Von Hozel Anthology, Broken Wings by LQ, IM NUT OKAY and Mordred's Lullaby by Tara Gilesbie, Sonic and the Sex, My Little Immortal: Friendship is 4 Prepz, the LQ Anthology, MIL: Legend of Jenna by Link's Queer, Sonic High School by DarkDoomFireMaster, I'm Here to Help by Mark Doeherty, Paint the Town by starjeffry, Twila, The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre by TwilaBeautifulPyscoTopazCullen, The Pokemon Story, Barney vs. Pokemon by animegirl, Owen's Yacht Party, Hitler in Equestria, Human in Lion King World/The Real World by sindragon, The Hunger Note Games, Fighting, Jenna Dies... With Care Bears by Luna M. Moon, Kingdom Farts, Who Is Voldemort's Dad: The Tales of Vermon Dursly, The Quest for the Holey Grail, My Little Ponly: Friendship is Danger, Sonic and the Great War, Asch's Big Adventere Triple Feature Ever Made in Order, and Emily H. the Viking Princess by emilyh96.
Wow. A lot of those stories were fucking awesome to review. Some of them looked too painful so we pretended we didn't see them. Quite a few of them we had actually reviewed already, but hey, that was probably our bad for having a poorly labeled archive on the old site.
Thanks for all of your contributions shadhardblogger. Except for Sonichu. Thanks for all of your contributions except for Sonichu.
As the day came to an end, The Angry Video Game Nerd, James went back to his hotel room to retire for the rest of the day.
Really? That’s how you’re going to open. That’s how you’re going to convince us that we should keep reading. Granted, it’s not nearly as bad as some other stories, but come on Hammohamsters: at least put a little effort into your opening. That sentence is just redundant and ugly.
Yeah, I’ve done better than that.
He spend his whole stay at Comic Con, mingling with his fans and talking about shitty video games. The whole con should have been a blast but it wasn't for AVGN.
Okay, just… pick a name. Seriously. We’re still in the first paragraph, and we’ve called him The Angry Video Game Nerd, James, and AVGN. Not for any stylistic reason either; I think Hammohamster was just afraid of overusing the same words too many times, so the solution was to brainstorm as many nicknames as possible. Pro tip: you don’t have to fucking do that.
His booth was right across from the Nostalgia Critic, his seemingly worst enemy.
He was dogged with fans instigating a fight with him, a fight he didn't want to start. James was quite upset that NC wanted to fight him as well. See, the AVGN don't hate NC. In fact...he is madly in love with him. When he first saw NC, he fell in love with his unshaven look and his sexy glasses. His big, potty mouth gave him shivers down his spine every time he talks. So he was very hurt when he learned NC made an video calling him out.
"Why does he hate me?" James said as he plopped down on his bed.
James never knew he was gay until he meant That Guy with the Glasses.
AVGN Names: 3
NC Names: 3
His sexual desires just bloomed and he have been attracted to men ever since. He is a virgin and he dreams of the day he might lost it to the Nostalgia Critic.
Oh good, conjugation errors, those are always a good sign.
Then the AVGN sprang up from his bed, "Wait a minute! Why am i just laying here complaining? I need to know! I need to know why he hates me!" James got up and walked to NC's hotel room down the hall. He didn't understand. He was a nice guy,
>Angry Video Game Nerd
He very well may be a nice guy, but could you blame anybody for misunderstanding?
he had feelings. He never mean any harm when he insults people in his videos. He was just a random victim of the man he loves ever so deeply.
Silently, James knocked on the door. "Why am I doing this?" he thinks to himself, wondering if his knocks was loud enough to hear.
You know, I actually don’t hate that detail. It does a nice job of showing us James’ character right now.
Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder from behind which scared the daylights out of him.
"What the fuck?!" he turned and saw the Nostalgia Critic himself. the AVGN's legs started to go weak as he stare into NC' s glasses. He couldn't help but grow an erection at his presents.
I’m getting that sentence tattooed across my forehead.
He was just so manly.
"Well well, Mr. Angry Video Game Nerd. We meet again!" the man with glasses says while glaring into James's glasses.
"Nostalgia Critic, I want a word with you."
"Then come on in. You had a long day. Come inside for a beer." NC says while opening and walking inside on his hotel room.
The Nerd follows the Nostalgia and sits on his bed. "Got any Rolling Rock?"
Rule number one of entering somes room, your ass takes the chair in the corner. Rule number two of entering somes room, you accept whatever beer they give you.
"Of course!" Nostalgia Critic says while pulling out a beer in his suitcase.
James couldn't believe he was this close to NC with out confrontation.
Isn’t confrontation the whole point here? Am I missing something? Is the writer missing something? Are we passing by like two ships in the night, except my ship is heading straight for an iceberg labeled “huh?”
He started drinking his beer while Nostalgia Critic sat on his bed with James, watching the nerd.
Okay James let’s review what just happened. The Nostalgia Critic pulled out your favorite beer out of his suitcase, and is now watching you drink it. You are drinking liquid roofies.
"So...what did you want to talk to me about?"
“Well, how many cocks do you want in your ass? On a scale of one to mine.”
James looked down and placed his beer on the floor. He didn't respond for a minute or two.
"Well, I was wondering what the deal with you disliking me. We never met before hand and you just decided to be a jerk to me."
The Nerd looked at NC and continued, " I am a big fan of yours, NC. I told you I was a big fan on my forum and you thought it was a secret message insulting you. Why do you want to fight me when I idolize you?"
Nostalgia Critic was silent for a while, "You really like me, don't you buttfucker?"
He laughs but the AVGN was somewhat offended by this comment because he was homosexual.
But buttfucking isn’t just for homosexuals I thought? Like, a straight man could buttfuck a straight woman, no problem. In theory, a straight woman could even buttfuck—
I’ve read enough of your earlier stories to know to tell you to shut up right now. Shut up right now.
James hung his head low and NC placed his hand on his back. "You think I really hate you?"
James looked up quickly, "You don't"
"Of course not! I was just messing around. I like you very much, Nerd. You are awesome."
AVGN blushed and looked away. "Well, gee...I....."
"And you want to know a secret?"
"What secret?" the Nerd says baffled.
Ray it’s time.
But for realsies I’m not mad that he’s gay, I’m just mad that this story exists to begin with.
I’ll drink to that.
And...I find you...attractive. In fact, I even...love you." Nostalgia Critic looked away with a huge blush on his face.
Much kawaii, many baka.
James couldn't believe what he was hearing. Its like a dream come true. He met his love and his love loves him, too.
And then they all lived happily ever after and we don’t have to read about them fucking, the end?
Then the Nostalgia Critic leaned in and kissed James on the mouth. The kiss sent shivers down his spine and aroused him greatly. AVGN returned the kiss and they both started kissing passionately. The Nerd's head almost exploded of the unbelievability of this. He was kissing his lover and he loved it. They parted later, panting for air.
"I love you too, Nostalgia Critic" James says with powerful bedroom eyes.
But the whole point was that they were panting for air. Why the hell are they talking, which requires air?
"You don't know how much I wanted to hear that."
The Nostalgia Critic grabbed AVGN and slowly pulled him down on the bed while kissing him. His arms wondered up and down the Nerds scrawny chest as he grows more and more aroused. Slowly, Nostalgia Critic striped James shirt off and started licking his nipples.
He teased around the nipples and then started sucking on the nerd's Milkdud colored tit.
"Ohhhhh, Nostalgia...don't stop."
The critic started to pull off James's pants and was shocked to find his Nightmare on Elm's Street boxes.
Those must be the most comfortable underwear ever.
"Hehehe, I thought you hated this game? Heh heh heh!"
Nostalgia Critic slowly slit his hand down the Nerds boxers and grabbed his huge member and started to stroke it while kissing him. The rhythm started slow at first and slowly worked his way up until he was jerking him off violently. The AGVN was having the time of his life. NC was very good at this. He must have done this a million times before on other guys.
Or, you know, himself. Ain’t that complicated.
The Nerd held his breath and was about to shoot when Nostalgia Critic stopped.
"What the fuck are you doing?" James said disappointed.
"I don't want you to come this yet. "
That line is so great I feel like we need to put that on a shirt or something.
Nostalgia Critic says evilly. He pulled off the Nerd's boxers and told him to sit on the edge of the bed, and he did. NC got on his knees and put James huge dick into his mouth. Nostalgia Critic was also a very good cocksucker. In less then a few minutes, He was ready to cum again when NC stopped.
"Dammit, stop doing that!" The Nerd was getting very frustrated.
"Shut up, slave.
Well that escalated.
its time to see how your ass feels!" And with that, the Nostalgia Critic stripped off all his clothes and forced James to get on his hands and knees on the bed. NC crawled up there with him and split Nerd's small, flat pale ass and placed his cock between his cheeks. NC took his dick and slowly teased poor James asshole until he was moaning and begging NC to fuck him.
I sincerely hope that both the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd have read this and laughed uncomfortably about it.
"Oooooo, baby, stop messing around and put it in already!" James said gripping the sheets.
"Beg for it." Nostalgia Critic said looking at the Nerd with lustful eyes.
"Please, put it in."
"I don't like your begging. Try harder."
“Pretty please put it in?”
"PLEASE, NOSTALGIA, FUCK ME!"
AVGN Names: 3
NC Names: 4
We have a winner!
NC liked to hear his little sluts beg for his huge cock but he didn't hesitate to do what the Nerd wanted. NC spit on his dick so he won't get cock burned
What a gentleman.
and slammed his dick in AVGN's tiny asshole.
"AHHHH, GOD!" The Nerd screams while enjoying the feel of the Nostalgia Critic's cock in his bum. NC spend no time pounding his huge cock in AVGN's ass. He was slamming his dick hard while listening to James moan and groan. Harder and harder, NC fucked until they were both sweaty. He liked how James screamed in pain when he knew he really liked it. The Angry Video Game Nerd was in total bliss. His dream of fucking the Nostalgia Critic finally came true. Oh, he can certainly die happy and this moment.
It seemed like forever but after a good 20 minutes of hardcore fucking, NC was ready to cum. And so was James. He slammed his cock in AVGN's ass one more time and let on a loud moan. James rouse his head up and ejaculated all over the bed sheets. Nostalgia Critic came so much, his jizz squirted around his dick and on the bed.
So you do know that real sex isn’t like hentai right?
They both fell back down on their own cum, panting. Then they started to cuddle.
"That was amazing, my love." Nostalgia Critic says kissing and nuzzling the Nerd.
"Oh....yes it was." James said, returning the affection.
They laid silent like this, basking in our own love and heat when AVGN broke the silents.
"Does this mean we have a truce?" He lifted his pinky up with a grin on his face.
Nostalgia Critic grabbed his pinky with his own and kissed him, "Truce".
A shitty ending to a shitty story.