Review #14

Dora Must Die

Story by Agent BM

Review by Ray




Warnuts had the brilliant idea of searching for Dora the Explorer fanfiction. Thanks to his recklessness, we now know this story exists.


Dora Must Die

Hola, esta dia vosotros ver a--

 

Oh, right. Today we’re going to retribute Dora Must Die, so there’s that.

I don't own Dora the explorer,

 

if I did I would've canceled her a long time ago

Why you gotta be hatin’?

I did it; I finally made a working portal that goes to Dora's world and back to mine.

WHAT YOU SAY!

 

 Now that I'm in her world, I can get rid of her once and for all.

Straight to the point, I like it.

I snuck over to her house with a bag full of guns.

 

I snuck into her bedroom window and took a gun out of my bag. She wakes up to see me standing over her

"What the, who are you?" she asked

"Your worst nightmare"

“Can you say that in Spanish?”

I pull out a shotgun

So he just dropped the first gun? I’m starting to see why he brought the bag.

when she ran out of her room. I caught her in her living room when I pulled the trigger and shot her in the back. She began to crawl towards the door when I walked up and shot her with a pistol

Yeah, fuck the shotgun, it’s only perfect for the occasion.

in the head multiple times

 

There's blood all over the carpet. My mission was complete until I heard something behind me.

 

I turned around and saw a monkey in red boots and pajamas standing in horror, it was her little friend Boots the Monkey

"Oh my, it seems I have a witness, well my secret dies with you"

He talks exactly how this looks.

He began to run back to the bedroom when I shot him in the head with a shotgun.

How many shotguns did he bring?

There are never enough.

His brain and blood splattered all over the floor

"What's going on out there?" asked someone from another room

Really, Dora and Boots weren’t enough?

Her parents came out of the bedroom to see what I've done to their daughter and friend dead on the floor

"Witnesses, I can't let you live now that you've seen what I've done. My secret must now die with you now"

How many more times is he going to use that line?

I don’t know, how many people are in the show?

They began to run back to the bedroom. I caught up with Dora's father and slit his neck with a knife.

Knife? He has a bag of guns, not a bag of guns and a knife. Now this doesn’t even make sense.

I then shot him multiple times in the head to make sure he stayed dead.

Because the knife wouldn’t be enough.

Her mother was cowering on the bathroom floor

"Please don't kill me, I'll make it up to you, I'll make you some breakfast" said the mother in fear

Breakfast?!

 

"Wrong, I want your dead body"

Ah, so close.

I shot her with my shotgun until her blood soaked the floor

I heard sirens outside,

Please let it be those sailor killing bitches.

it was the cops.

Close enough.

I opened the portal back to my world and shut it before they figure out who killed that poor family

Wait, so now he feels bad for them?

The next day Dora the explorer was finally canceled. The world cheered as that annoying TV show was gone

Of course no one knew it was me who killed her,

Nor does anyone care.

but I didn't care,

See, no one.

that annoying character was dead because of me, and I'm proud of it

The end

What did you think?

Speaking from experience, I think you have a disturbing future ahead of you.

I came up with this while running the track at school the other day.

Even better.

I finally killed Dora the Explorer.

Well, in your head, sure.

Please review and tell me what a great job I did there

A little presumptuous, aren’t we?