Review #133

Pokemon Strategy

Story by JOSEPH JOESTAR

Review by Fluff




Join me and Hent as we go on a Pokémon adventure...where we fail completely.


day 1

Oh it’s one of those fanfics.

Orange was just only almost 5 years old when he started his Pokemon Adventure.

Congratulations Hent.

I will be the best! Like no one ever was!

He lived in Mallet Town and his neihbor was named Lime.

I’d make a Martin joke, but I’ll leave that for you Hent.

Sorry but in my Pokemon playthrough, you're my rival.

So you’re the one that killed my Raticate!

It’s your fault for catching such a pathetic pokemon.

"I will taste you later nerd" said the 15 year old Lime as he left to the Pokemn Lab.

“Sorry Lime. No homo.”

Orange chased after, eager for a pokemon. But it was too late because Lime got there first and he got the pokemon first, it was a Mew.

Where was I when they started giving out Legendaries as starters?

You had to pick third. You got stuck with Bulbasaur.

I get Pokemon #1, I’m okay with that.

Professor Lighter gave it to him.

Orange had to choose from the other poekballs, he got a AbraCadabra and a Suiocoon.

I don’t think the author knows how Pokemon works.

So I am up against a Legendary and a Bulbasaur. All I have is a pokemon that can run away and the ugliest Legendary.

 

Lime and Orange battle in the lab.

"Mew use force field!" Mew hit him. AbraCaDabra fell. The match was over.

Damn Hent, he kicked your ass.

Wait! What about my other pokemon! Whats the point of starting with two if I only used one?

I guess it wasn’t the Abrakadabra that knew how to run away.

DAY 2

Orange rode on his Roller Blade to the next city,

The kid beat me so bad, I could only afford one skate.

Spa & Treatment city.

Sounds like a wonderful place for you Hent.

Time to breed some pokemon.

 

The first gym leader to ever exist was there. She trained Steel Types.

Before the gym badge could start the fight. He saw Lime, in the wild grass.

He left because Lime was stronger and could not.

I think this author has something against you Hent.

I no understand! I good Pokemon trainer!

One day Hent, I know you’ll get your revenge.

DAY 3

Finally the traing was over/ AbraCaDaBra Was a level 10.

Level ten Vs a gym leader? Good one.

He walked into the gym. It was big and empty, he heard a voice calling to him. He wondered what it was. The lgihts were dim, he could not see. AbRaCaDaBrA lit the way with Light.

Dumb writhing aside, the move is called Flash. It’s one of my favorites.

I’m a Flamethrower kinda guy.

You sir, have the coolest Bulbasaur ever.

He saw the Man, he told him: "Hey there, Champ in the making! Hit 'em with a Force Field, and you just might make the grade! Heah!"

Winning Trainers, it said on the stone, Lime, Pedro.

He had to take a break.

So what was the point of Day 3?

DAY 4

I am still stuck inside the cave. It’s pitch black in here. I just ate the last of my food. If I take another step, my repel will wear off. I’m not sure how much longer I can last. Tell my Waifu to clear my browser history.

Why don’t you just have Abrakadabra use Light?

I had him learn a different type of Flash.

He returned. The battle was about to begin. AbracadabraA came out he PokeBall. He light the Darkness with Light. The gym leader was revealed. Nail...was his name.

I...don’t really care.

He sent out his first pokemon, SudoWooDo.

What were the chances that I would use a picture with that pokemon in it before reading this far? Witch one of us is supposedly good at math?

"AbraKaDabea! Use flme thrower!" Sudowoodo couldn't take the damage, he fell.

Aren’t these Pokemon battles just riveting.

See? I’m a good trainer. I can one hit everything.

*Insert joke about Hent not being able to satisfy his Waifu.*

Abracadarba was the victor.

Sudowoodo is a rock type pokemon though...

"Dang!" Shouuted Nail. "Go, Ekans!"

"Abro! Use Force Field!" Said Orange, recaaling the words he had heard.

He won, he got the Finger Badge.

 

I can’t wait to show everyone my accomplishment!

And the TM, Force Field!

"But I already have it, " he said.

 Funny Gif Slap Gif animated GIF

How dare you question the fanfic!

DAY 5

Orange, with a fresh Finger Badge, strolled down Route 4 of the Pepko region. He was on his way to the next city, Kameda city. Then he heard the noise, of a motor Cycle.

It was, indeed, Lime.

If a bike costs

 

How fucking rich is my rival?

"I knew I would taste you later, nerd." Said Lime.

“But Lime! I said no homo!”

When Lime wants something he gets it.

Every man has his price. Lime obviously has the money to get there.

"Lime, that is enough. I have earned the 1 badge of Pepko region.

There’s only one dadge in the entire region?

" He flashed his badge.

 

Pride swelled in the heart of the young trainer.

"We will see." He said, taking out a Pokeball.

Go Mew "he said"

"go AbrAkadBara!" He prepared for a Force Field.

It was Mew's ultimate weakness.

An ultimate weakness Mew was able to use at the start of the fucking story.

But what he saw, shocked him. Mew had evolved...into MewTwo.

Day 6

What the fuck?! Did they just go home after Mew somehow evolved into Mewtwo, something that Mew can’t even fucking do in the first place?!

...whatever happened to my other pokemon? It was never mentioned after it’s mentioning.

Oh yeah I forgot to tell you, I killed your second Pokemon as revenge for my Raticate.

 

Lime No

! Shouted Orange.

"It's more than you! It's more than you can control! Don't feed the darkness!"

TBC?

At the end of the day, Orange killed Lime and took his Mew. The moral of the story - Don’t fuck with Hentia Man.

Or his pokemon

 

Only I get to do that.

Well that’s gonna haunt my nightmares for the next few weeks.

Sleep well Fluff. Sleep well.