Review #130

Hent goes to IKEA

Story by IKEA

Review by Hent




After one to many table flips, Hent needs to replace his desk. Join him on his quest to construct his new desk from IKEA.


Alright. I finally got my new desk from IKEA. Now all I have to do is assemble it.

 

Looks simple enough.

 

What the fuck am I looking at? It’s ok...you're smart Hent...lets decipher this.

Step 1….I need to speak to my tools?

Step 2....Give a piece of the desk to one of my friends?

Step 3….I should buy a Persian rug.

Step 4….If I get a gift from Santa, IKEA will rape my ear with a tentacle?

These directions make sense so far. They gave me the tools and I should get to know them If I want to work with them. I should Give Ray the piece of the desk. I did use his credit card to buy it. A Persian rug would absolutely look good in my cubicle.

 

I knew my old rug wasn't doing me any good.

As for the Gift from Santa; I’m fairly certain I’m on the naughty list. On the pulse side, Mrs. Claus responded to my letter with some nice photos.

 

So I have a bunch of screws and other metal stuff. Nothing I have to do yet.

 

Well fuck you too instructions! You haven't told me how to make you yet! Don’t show me everything in it’s final state! If my desk was assembled, I would flip it!

 

Ray! I need that piece of wood back!

 

Man, they sure are picking up the pace here. Nothing I can’t handle.

 

Wait...this one is the same as the last one! Why not just say, do this twice? Actually! Why not have words in your instruction manuals!?!?!?!?!??!?

 

 

What the fuck am I looking at?

 

Just got to hammer in this section…

 

 

Put C into slot Q and then put the gibbidy dodad into the hole and….wala!  

 

….

 

Why is this not working?

 

Anyone miss the good old days when your parents had to do all this work for you?

 

 

 

Go away Yellow. I’m trying to desk. I need every ounce of concentration.

 

Finally an instruction I know how to do!

 

 

Now we get serious.

You know this review is really dumb.

Shut up Yellow!

Almost there...I can see all the pieces fitting together.

Does this even count as Fanfiction?

SHUT UP YELLOW.

 

Just..need to finish...the drawer…

If anything, this is just you writing a Fanfic about a desk.

I said...

 

 

Shut…...up…..Yellow.

 

Last nail and my desk is complete!

 

…..Hay Hent?

FUCK IT!!!!

 

   

Hent? What just happe-

 

I’m taking your office.

You can’t just take my office! What the hell is wro-

 

Get out!