Review #127

Catapult Melons Into Nose For The Best Balls

Story by yurisgurl

Review by Ray

It is an ordinary day at Konoha.

So basically, the story might as well start by saying, "Nothing interesting is going to happen in this scene."

Sun burns deeply at sand.

This is Konoha, the quote on quote “Village Hidden in the Leaves”, where the fuck did all this sand come from?

Ramen Guy fall oer into ramen cuz Konohamaru chates Moegi. Meogi ewars no pants.

Neither does most of the female characters in the stories we review.

Or the men, for that matter.


She it teh hawtness. Udon dies.

Ah, that’s so sad. He was such an important character to both this story and the actual manga, and I say that with all the sarcasm in my being.

Hemmelted. Too hot. Then There is sthen she.

So was Yuris drunk when she wrote this? And was the phone she texted it into also drunk?

Ino is trying to get money. So…

Ino stood. Shikamaru walked to her. He stared. They stood.

Yuris fragmented. Supposed to be for effect. Not for effect. Just incompetent.

After an hor Shikamaru burps.

Well that was rude.

Into face Ino.

Well that was even more rude.

She look at him. He look at her. She spits at face his. He askjs why-. Agh. Ino sayz what.

Shkikimaru : Wh dfo wear all purpli?

Wh dfo did this become a screenplay?

Ino : I like to brush teeth with orange crates.



Sihkamaru went WTF then ran away screaming. Ino spit at him. Shikimaru ducks and bumpbn into Choki. Choki fell over and broke his spine. He died.

Alright, so clearly death means nothing in this story.

Sikimaru cries-. Ino frugged and raised her skirt exposing her panties.

Yup, completely meaningless.


Hey, at least she knows how to get to a man’s heart.

Asuma sighs.

Sakura : I HATE SASUKE!!!!

And I hate that Sasuke is the first name I've recognized in this story, but you don't hear me screaming about it.

Stromet the pink spore Sakkooora. Sh ewas already a pro slut bvut since Saskue didnt want to rape her she cursed.

Sasuke smirked anbd raped Dona Jo anmd Alexandrian.


Two females who teleported from the Bikini Contest of Florida to Konoha.

Oh okay...that makes perfect sense…


He was happy of their suzes. 91-60-90. perfect.


I dont bother with Naruto. He sucks. He is blonde. He too dumb.

Yeah, clearly, he the one who too dumb.

Ok I will. He fall over tree and lands on rock. Then…

Kakashi then apparead suddenly.

Oh finally, a bad ass from the manga, please tell me he kills them all and that’s the end.

Kakashi : Yo.

Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Dona Jo and Alexandrian : L8888888888!


Kakashi : We are expeting Tsunade to talk. Lets go.

They went to Tsunades.

Tsunade: I got one! Revenge OF The Stir-Fry Wraith of the Drive-Through


I have many questions.

Shizune: lol XD What about, revenge of the Rollerblading ice anteater

What about you explain what the fuck you're talking about?

Tsunade: I know! The alien catgirl who focuses obsessively on one master

Retribution Band Name #4: Alien Catgirl

Shizune: lmao XD thinks The exhibitionist half-alien bunnygirl who wears a chainmail bikini!!

Are they just naming off terrible trollfic names that we’ll undoubtedly read if they exist?

Tsunade: lmao!!! XXDD

Shizune: The adult actress nymphomaniac bunnygirl jungle girl who wears tight leather!!

I actually like this one.

Hey Hent, reclaiming your place as king of cameos?

He wishes.

Shizune: The flirty office lady with a nude transformation sequence!! XD

And this one also. Double cameo, suck it Mart.

Tsunade: roflmao! X)

Shizune: The insatiable pigtailed cyborg bounty hunter with super martial-arts!

Is this a story? Can this be classified as a story?

Tsunade: The exotic panty-flashing bunnygirl with a need for love and sensual conversation:O


Shizune: The oversexed acrobatic sorceress!

Tsunade: wets herself XD

Must've taken a lesson from the expert.

Shizune: The shape-shifting alien succubus who always wears hot pants:O

This is still going on, oh my god. What was going through the writer’s head when he/she was writing this?!

Tsunade: no more!! XD

Yes, please, no more!

Shizune: The sexy super-strong alien

Tsunade: The exhibitionist winged half-alien who prefers to wear nothing!!!!


They all went wide eye. Tsunade and Shizune put away their toys then stares ad them.

Tsunade : Yo. We hae important missong for you 4.

Oh thank Nudist Alien Bunnygirl Jesus, something that might actually turn into a story.

Sasuki : Thats is?

Tsunade : …a rank A mission


All :WTF?!

Tsunade : Captain Fartborg returned.

That’s such a stupid name that it just might work….in a kid’s TV show, not in a fucking Naruto fanfic.

All : OH NOES!

Tsunade : Yes. With his homies. Jockstrap Crusader, Captain Platypus and Galactic Gopher. Go get them.

Sure, just let me write something down first.

Retribution Band Name #5: Jockstrap Crusader

I’m caught between whether or not to change my name to Captain Platypus or Galactic Gopher.

All : Okie doikie!

Masashi Kishimoto would kill himself if he read this story.

They teelpeorted away to the forest. They find them. They killed all. Exepr Captain Fartborg. He ran away. TAHT JERKL!

/scene, I honestly don't know why I bothered to hope it would go somewhere.

Sasuke kissed Donna Jo then Alaexanria.

Why are these two still here? Who are they?  Is this a cross-over, are they Mary Sues? Who are they?!

Sakora rupped her shirt off and ran oiff.


Naruto drooled. Kakashi read.

At night Naruto ate at the bar. He got drunk. He saw Hinita sitting next ti him. They love.

This story is so ridiculous that it's not even worth the love rant.

But Hinisa is shi and Naruti is drunk,. Sigh. Suddenly up the sky…

Hinita : Look Naruto! It is a Sinister Looney Dragon of the Yard Sale! Makie a wish!

I wish Xxxxemo4everxxxX would stop writing stories under different names.

Naruto : Idid.

Hinita : Fido!

Sakora slept sundely when suddenly the window nroke. She screamed and looked at hte criminal.

Pantyhose smasher : I am Fartborgs half brother's aunties cousins brothers room mate


I don’t even know why I try to make sense with this story anymore.

Sakura : ..that makes you?

Pantyhose Smasher : jack shit..MUAHAHAH!!! stabs Neji nad dies

What drugs were used in the making of this fanfic?

Whatever it is, I'm just amazed that Yuris was still able to use a keyboard while trippin' ninja balls.


Sakora ripped her shirt of and jumped out ofthe window and die.

You know what, good riddance, I was tired of her anyway.



was enjoying 2some with Dona Joe and Alesandria when…

Oblivion Platypus : Murrr…


No no, please go on, I’m surprisingly curious about this.

Sasuke : What the freak are you?

Tenten : Oh noes! It is the Oblivion Platypus with its sidekicks Glass-blowing Thorn Platypus of the Vortex and Maze Platypus of the Astral Plane!!!!!!

I’m just gonna go ahead and


But it was wa too late. They ate them.

Obilivion Platyupus : Muuuuurrrrr….HAHAHAHA!

Glass Blowing Thorng Platypus : Meep….sigg-…

Vortex and Maze Platypus of the Astral place thenn licked him.

They happy and ran off.

Can that be the end of the story? Because as random as it was, I can't imagine we'll get more resolution than that.

When was the last time the Fanfiction Gods ever gave us mercy?

Gamakjichi ate Kina and Shino then joined iwth the platypusses. Rocky and Gay

Ha, it's funny because homosex.

sang the underwear song with Barny.

Then platypusses ruled the world.- Ate more people lioke, Yamtui, Say, Irukiand Kurana. Hiriya was spared cuz he wrotes rape. But the sand people didnt get revenr…

If this story could start using real words so we can make fun of it again, that would just be dandy.

Sio the next day they burried Gaara, Temarih and Kanruo in the sand and peed on them. Daisies srpung from them and their butts.

Naruto and Hinata had baby girl calked Midori and they rule the world with platypusse.