Yes people, this exists. Now go and enjoy this fuckery
Hey Fluff, you know what our page needs?
A reason to exist.
No, a little more Hitler.
Ah I see now, so what Hitler story are we doing this time? Hitler x Jesus, Hitler x Megatron, what is it?
The most important one ever written, Hitler V.S. Sonic.
Oh...this isn’t gonna be painful in the slightest….
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey everyone! I told you I was going to write another story, and I did not lie to you. I was busy with school. Here it is. It is based off of SONIC HIGH SCHOOL and it is only one chapter long.
Only one, sad face.
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: WORLD WAR 2 DRAGON
"Wow," said Tails. "We are at school!" Tails, being the smartest, was right.
I’m pretty sure that a retard on acid could tell if he was at school.
Sonic and Tails and all of the else people in their class were in class at school, and it was history class.
Tails is a little smartass isn’t he.
"Ok, here is your big project," said Mr. Learning.
When a teacher has a name like that they’re just asking to get kicked in the nuts by their students.
A; declaring war on genitals is my thing. B; I wish I had a teacher with that name.
"You are all going to do a project about World War 2. It is due on Monday, when the weekend is over. It is really important and the biggest thing you will do. If you fail this project, you will have to go to a different High School."
If it’s such a big assinment why only give them two days?
Because the zero tolerance policy is bullshit, that why. Yeah, I went there Bush.
"Wow! Oh no!" said everyone in the class together at the same time, in a surprised and scared way because they did not want that to happen. Mr. Learning was their teacher.
"Oh, and also, you have to do this project with another person." Said Mr. Learning to the class, his class.
Well thank god they add this detail. How else would I know the class he was talking to was his class?
Sonic and Tails looked right at each other with the biggest eyeballs, and did a strong high five.
"Cool!" said Sonic to Tails. "With you, I will never fail this project! We have avoided the conflict and our destiny is sealed."
Your destiny is definitely sealed with us that’s for sure.
"Ok, but I want to do something that is better than everyone else.
Well aren’t you just an ass.
Isn’t that what Sonic is technically, a douchebag.
But he gives us those uber helpful PSA.
You know how I am when it comes to school," screamed Tails to Sonic.
‘Dude eat a chilli dog and calm the fuck down, I’m right next to you.’
There was so much hubbub in the classroom it was like being in an ocean of little boys.
Why does CTI suddenly come to mind all of a sudden.
"Ahh! Ok," Shouted Sonic to Tails in that old Sonic way. Sonic and Tails got up out the classroom and went into the hallway, and then into a different hallway, and then out of the school and went to Tails's house.
You could have easily just said “they went home”, but of course you had to make it much more difficult.
"Ok, here is my idea," said Tails to Sonic, who was now in Tails's room. "Here is a time machine that I invented.
Because all kids have those.
Who are these then?
I believe you forgot
Also did you just side with the story?
I side with no one.
I see how it is.
Except for The Fluffwrights!
We are gonna use it to go back in time and stop World War 2 from ever happening
You’ve never heard of the butterfly effect, have you? Because if you stop it from happening than you’ll never get the assignment, thus you’d probably get a diffent one and fail the class.
Also, knowing our fucked up world, WW2 would happen even if Hitler was stopped.
Also, because WWII happened we were able to get out of the Great Depression.
so that we the best grade ever, and everyone else fails because World War 2 will not have happened and they will be doing projects about fake things."
Except what will stop Mr. Learning from giving out a new assignment?
Tails laughed and rubbed head.
Woah, Keep it PG now.
"Oh man!" said Sonic to Tails, in a surprised way. "That idea is so crazy! Wait, oh wow, Blaze the Cat is in our class. That means she will fail!"
What the fuck is with fanfiction writers and making females the lowest common denomator
There’s a reason women hate men.
I bet feminists get their fuel from Fanfiction.net.
"Yes," said Tails to Sonic.
"Hate that bitch," said Sonic to Tails.
Don’t lie Sonic, you secretly love that pussy, don’t you.
"Let's do it!"
"Ok," said Tails. "This is how the time machine works. I have to use the control thing here
Really control thing, thats the best you could do. Was Control panel was just to much?
and you have to go into the time machine and go stop World War 2.
I can talk to you and use the time machine on you from here so don't worry if you mess things up big time because I can get you out."
Fanfiction logic/science. They just don’t fucking match.
"Cool," said Sonic. "But how do I stop World War 2 from happening?" said Sonic, making a face that was confused, like an ostrich at a new zoo looking for his food when all of the other ostriches leave to go eat but he doesn't know where to go.
"Well, obvioulsy, you have to kill Rudolph Hitler!" shouted Tails.
"Now get in the time machine!" The time machine looked like a big gray thing with parts.
You gave absolutely no fucks there did you.
Sonic looked surprising but Tails pushed him into the time machine and Tails went to go push a bunch of buttons and screens and pull on things until Sonic was trapped in a little thing and a lot of smoke came out and lights flashed.
And Sonic died the end.
"Here we go," shouted Tails. "I am sending you to before World War 2!"
Sonic felt like he was in a bathtub filled with yogurt and then before he knew it he popped out of the time machine and suddenly he was in Germany. "You are in Germany,"
God this is My Inner Life all over again.
said Tails to Sonic with his time machine technology.
"I don't know what to do! What am I doing! How do I kill Hitler!" shouted Sonic out loud to Tails. But uh oh, it looks like Sonic shouldn't have done that, because then the Nazzies came for Sonic.
"That blue teen is thinking about killing Hitler! Get him and put him in jail!" The Nazzy army people came over and grabbed Sonic on the arms.
I guess Sonic forgot the Nazis were hunting for blue hedgehogs as well.
Along with The Ark but…
It ah… Had some complications.
The Nazis just can’t get a break can they.
"Hey, let go of me! Let go! Tails! The Nazzies are taking me away! Help!" screamed Sonic like a wild Ass
At least he’s being honest this time.
and tried to break free out of the Nazzie's grips but even with all of his fast speed power, there were just too many Nazzies and they kept Sonic from going anywhere.
Not a single one of them just decided to put a bullet in his head. Back then, a Jewish person would get shot on the spot for just looking at one of them funny, but nope, the weird blue hedgehog gets a pass.
Good thing he picked the right religion.
They carried Sonic through the street into the jail and put him into it. "Tails! Get me out of here!" cried Sonic in a way that sounded so scared.
"What! How did you mess up already! Ok, I have to put you in another time zone for a while before I can bring you back to Germany. Here we go!" said Tails with his speaker. Tails hit some buttons and did a variety of smart things and then Sonic disappeared in a flash of light and appeared in Ancient Egypt. "You are in Ancient Egypt, now, Sonic. I am not. I am still at my house using the time machine. You are a burden sometimes."
And you’re an ass.
Sonic was in Ancient Egypt
Please, don’t be one of those a-hole writers who repeats themselves, it get’s annoying fast.
You have no idea.
and said, "Well, I guess I can just have fun here for a while while I wait to go back to Ancient Germany! Sonic saw a permaid and went inside it."
When Sonic went in there were so many things inside of it. There were paintings on the wall, not like paintings in frames but things that people drew on to the walls and also there was a big golden chair with a guy that looked like a king sitting in it.
"Hey, I think I know you!" said Sonic to the king. Sonic remembered seeing him somewhere before and then he remembered where: in history class. "Yeah, you're King Tunt!"
Um... it’s Tut.
At least he didn’t call him King Cunt.
Sonic was right. It was King Tunt,
His name is Tut not Tunt, get it right.
the ancient farrow from Egypt.
"Who are you?" said King Tunt. King Tunt
Now you’re just doing it on purpose.
Hey, how’s your hand?
The pain is actually helping me get through the bullshit.
had a big gold hat on and some bracelets and a neck thing. And then he looked at Sonic really hard and realized something. "Oh my god! I know who you are! You are Sonic! Sonic the hedgehog!"
You know, I’m not gonna punch a wall this time, but still, HOW THE FUCK DOES KING TUT KNOW SONIC THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG!
You okay? It hurts the first time.
Maybe if you a bitch.
Back to the review :D
Sonic winked and did a cool dance and said, "Yeah, I guess I Am pretty popular! How did you hear about me? Is it because I am the fastest?"
King Tunt pointed at a picture on the wall. It was a big picture of a dragon with spikes coming out the back of his head. "You are one of the legendary hedgehogs who can become a dragon using your cool powers."
"What! A dragon" said Sonic to King Tunt.
"Yeah if you just try it should happen," said King Tunt looking at Sonic weird. "But maybe it is because someone in your family line of hedgehogs isn't cool enough. Every hedgehog in the family line has to be cool or awesome or an expert for it to work."
That begs the question. What is the true definition of cool and awesome. It’s different for every person.
"Wow! Well, it is not me!" said Sonic and put on a pair of sunglasses that he always kept in his back pockat in this story. "See? I am cool."
This guy is wearing sunglasses too, but you don’t see him turning into a fucking dragon.
What about now?
I’m not disputing anything.
Sonic smiled so big, using teeth.
"Well, sorry, it looks like someone else in your family history is a loser so you can't be a dragon now," said King Tunt to Sonic before calling his guards and pushing him out the door.
Sonic was now outside. "Hey Tails," said Sonic to Tails, "Can you look up my family history and figure out who isn't cool enough for me to be a dragon? I never knew I could become a dragon but I think that is how we can defeat Hitleg."
Tails typed fast, so fast, faster then the fastest car you have ever seen or can even think of. Tails looked up Sonic's family history on the InterNet and used his technology and devices to scan the information and found a thing. "Hey Sonic, I think I found the answer! I am going to send you to the person now! This person is
You! You uncool douche.
also in World War 2! Make them cool! I hope it is not Hitler."
It’s gonna be Hitler isn’t it. We all know it’s gonna be Hitler.
Please dear god be Hitler.
Sonic also hoped it was not Hitler, because then he would be related to him and would have to go to jail. Sonic disappeared from Egypt in a flash of light and flew through the time and the space back to Germany in World War 2. He was now outside a house. It was sad and grey looking and it was rainy.
"Ok, my family member must be in this house!" Sonic went inside and looked around but he did not find anyone. He looked in the first room, and the second room, and even the third room. He looked in all the rooms he could find. "What is this, a joke! I'm so pissed at this, I want to be a dragon," said Sonic out loud, to himself but outside of his head. Then he heard something.
"Hello? Is someone down there?" said a voice coming from the floor above him.
"Yeah, it's me Sonic the Hedgehog! You might have heard of me?" said Sonic,
You know, it’s vain comments like that that make you an ass, Sonic.
laughing and smiling because he now knows he is famous enough to be known by King Tunt, who is in history books.
And yet you aren’t, hmm I wonder why. I mean you’re famous aren’t you?
"Oh, come up!" said the voice and it was a girl's, and then a flap came out of the ceiling and stairs popped out of the hole in the ceiling and Sonic went up them. Sonic went up there and saw a girl. She looked sad.
"Hey! Who are you?" said Sonic to the girl who was standing there.
"I'm Anne Frank," said the girl, who was actually Anne Frank.
You don’t fucking say.
"Oh wow! I know who you are! I heard about you!" said Sonic.
If you do than why don’t you help her, in fact, why don’t you use your time machine to help everybody. Instead of getting out of a stupid fucking project, you could be saving billions of lives. Sonic, you really are an ass.
"Really? Wow!" said Anne Frank.
"This is gonna sound crazy, but I am related to you.
That means someone in our family is about to fuck a hedgehog
Well knowing Anne Frank’s past, I think we know exactly who it is.
I am here to help you. You are not cool enough," said Sonic. Sonic bounced up and down on the wooden floor and it made creaky sounds. They were in an attic.
"Really?" said Anne Frank. Now she looked even sadder. She was living here all by herself in this attic.
"Yeah! No wonder you're not cool, you are living up here in an attic," said Sonic to Anne Frank.
"But I'm scared of the Nazzies!"
‘Yeah they’re gathering up all the jews and...’ Anne started to say, but Sonic interrupted. ‘Don’t care let’s go outside.
said Anne Frank, almost ready to cry. She was so sad.
"You have to face your fears," said Sonic to Anne Frank. "You can not just hide up here in this attic all the time waiting for something good to happen. You have to go and do it yourself. Show the world who you really are!"
I bet a lot of Jews decided to face their fears and confront the Nazis, I wonder how they fared.
"Wow… I get it now," said Anne Frank. "I am too busy being afraid of the Nazzies. I need to face my fears and leave this attic. I am not just Anne Frank. I am Anne Frank the Hedgehog!" And then she took off her headband and big hedgehog spikes came out the back of her head.
I know I already used this but…
I’m using this again too.
"Yeah, that's it! There are so many things that you can do if you are just not afraid. You can go to AppleBees, and use teen social media, and buy an XBox, and even have penis+vagina sex, like me and Amy," said Sonic to Anne Frank, winking.
Is this even remotely a story at this point anymore? I think the plot just shot itself right now.
"Wow! I did not know about this whole new world of possibililities. I am going to start right now, by leaving this attic," said Anne Frank to Sonic. She took one step, and then another, and then enough to get to the bottom of the stairs and begin standing on the floor. Then she glowed a whole lot, and smiled and looked at Sonic. "Thank you. Thank you for showing me that I should not be afraid of the Nazzies. I am going to go to the mall," said Anne Frank.
But when she opened the door she was shot and killed.
With that, Sonic left the house and went outside and said, "Mission complete!" to Tails from his technology gadget.
"Ok, now we have to get you to Hitler's castle.
I just realized something. They’re in the middle of WW2! How the fuck do they expect to stop WW2 from ever happening if WW2 is already happening?!
It is super defended so I can't get you into it just by the time machine. We have to get you in another way," said Tails to Sonic, in a thinking way. Hitler was the president of Germany
so they had to be really careful and think of a good plan. "Oh! Maybe you can disgiuess as a pizza delivery man and then sneak into Hitler's room!"
Well that won’t work for multiple reasons, but you’re going to do it anyway aren't you.
"No, Tails, no, that will not work,"
Holy shit progress.
said Sonic. "You are forgetting, pizza was not invented yet in World War 2."
I must admit, I am impressed. Keep going story, and I might give you a shiny gold star.
"Damn, fuck, pizza," said Tails to Sonic.
"I have another plan. Just get me to outside Hitler's castle and I will do the rest. Use the time machine now!" They had to go back before World War 2 started because Anne Frank was during World War 2 and they wanted to stop World War 2 from happening so they had to go back before it happened.
Okay then, I retract myself from earlier, this story went from shitty to adequate pretty fast. I can’t wait for it to disappoint me at the very end.
Tails his buttons and Sonic just went out to a different time with a sound like "woop."
Sonic appeared in front of Hitler's castle. It was big and dark grey and on top of a hill that went straight up and it was full of rocks. There was basically no way to get to it. "Ok, thanks Tails, here goes my plan!" Sonic balled up into a ball and started rolling forward. He rolled so fast that, using friction and magnetics, he stuck to the hill as he rolled up it at a speed that had not been seen since, well, ever! Sonic rolled his way to the top of the hill and over the castle wall and to the door of Hitler's castle.
"Ok, I got to the castle!" said Sonic to Tails. And then he saw what he was a fraid of. Sonic saw a bunch of Nazzy guards coming right at him because he was invading. "Ah, oh no, this stinks!" screamed Sonic. He backed up against the door to Hitler's castle and all of the Nazzies ran right at him.
And not one of them thought “hey, lets use our guns”. These Nazies are making the gunmen from Rambo look like well trained soldiers.
They were so big and scary and Sonic did not know what to do. They were coming right at him with the biggest and most dangerous weapons money could buy without breaking the bank. Sonic just closed his eyes and almost cried as the Nazzies ran at him while he was up against the door, and almost like he did not know what he was doing, he jumped up at the last moment when the Nazzies were running at him, and he avoided all of them but they ran into the door, knocking it down. They all fell in a pile and went unconscience.
Worst. Nazies. EVER!
I’m finally understanding how we won the war now.
"Wow! It is the miracle of life," said Sonic.
Or the stupidity of a writer.
He was safe and was able to get inside Hitler's castle. Sonic walked over the lumpy bodies of those idiot Nazzies and followed the red carpet all the way to Hitler's room. The castle was really scary inside. It was dark grey and there were red carpets with gold parts and there was even lava. There were candles that were lit on fire in the halways. Sonic ran down to the end to a big doors and opened them.
The doors busted open and Sonic saw Hitler, standing behind his desk. "I'm here to stop you, idiot ass!" Sonic ran into the room and at Hitler but Hitler stopped him.
"Oh, haha, who do you think you are? I am Hitler, King of the Jews,
Oh fuck it
and I am going to destroy the World," said Hitler. Hitler looked like you would think he would. Hitler laughed and took out a sword made of fire. "Prepare to meet you dead."
Welcome to die!
Hitler ran at Sonic with his fire sword, and Sonic almost thought, "Oh no, I am going to die right here," but then he did not. Sonic jumped over his sword and said, "Nice try, Hitler! But you are messing with the wrong hedgehog. Or should I say… dragon!"
Didn’t Sonic go back in time after he talked to Anne Frank, so if he does stop WW2, won’t he stop himself from meeting Anne Frank and…
Sonic put his elbows out like he was ready to do the Chicken Dance, but instead he started to glow and light went to him and big beams of light came out too, and it made a loud sound.
"No! No! This can't be! The legends are true!" screamed Hitler, trying to beat off Sonic
with his fire sword.
Sonic kept glowing and his shape changed into a huge, big blue dragon with green eyes. He was so big that he broke through the walls and ceiling of Hitler's bedroom.
"Rooooar!" said Sonic, and he breathed fire into the sky. Sonic used his big dragon claws and slashed at little tiny baby Hitler who was looking so scared using his fire sword now. The wind was blowing. Then Sonic decided enough was enough and grabbed Hitler in his claws and flew out away from Germany to Hawaii and dropped him into a volcano. "So long, Hitler!" shouted Sonic as he snapped a picture and flew away from the volcano and back to Germany.
Sonic got back to Germany and glowed and then turned back into a hedgehog. "There. Hitler is dead, so World War 2 can never happen," said Sonic to Tails through the technology.
And then the Soviet Union came.
"Wow, cool! That was the coolest thing I've ever seen! We will be able to use your dragon powers to get our way all the time!" said Tails to Sonic, almost crying with amazed feelings.
Sonic looked at himself and said, "Yeah, it was cool, wasn't it? Ok, take me back to normal time now. I wanna go home!"
Tails handled his device and Sonic came back to Tails's room in a flash of light. "Ok, give me that camera!" screamed Tails to Sonic.
"Wow, control yourself," said Sonic to Tails.
Says the ass who just stopped WW2 just to get out of a school project!
"Sorry," said Tails. "I'm exited!"
Ah too easy.
Tails grabbed the camera and printed out the picture of Hitler being eaten up by the volcano.
Then they ran to school even though it was like 8 o clock and broke in and ran to their history class room. "Mr. Learning, here is our project!" said Tails as he handed the picture to Mr. Learning.
Mr. Learning touched his glasses and looked at the picture and said, "Oh my god, this is of Hitler dying. You stopped World War 2 from happening! Wow!"
HOW IN THE FLYING FUCKADOODLE DOES HE EVEN KNOW WORLD WAR TWO DIDN’T HAPPEN IF YOU ALREADY KILLED HIM! IN REALITY HIS RESPONSE WOULD BE WHO IS THIS AND WHAT PROJECT! FUCK!
This whole fanfic is an ass.
"Yup, we sure did!" said Sonic and Tails together at the same time to save time. They laughed and high fived like at the beginning of the story.
"That's it, you get the biggest A ever.
The biggest A, as in ASS.
The project is over and you get an A for the whole class! No one else does!" said Mr. Teaching.
"Yeah yeah yeah!" said Sonic.
"Woohoo!" sad Tails.
Sonic and Tails hugged and Mr. Learning was so proud and they went home.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Merry Chistmas
Ah go fuck yourself.