Review #101

Sly Cooper 100

Story by THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE

Review by Fluff




Of all the stories to review after 100, this one was painful.


SLY 100

I don’t know which is scarier, that this guy wrote over 100 terrible trollfics, or that most of them are Sly Cooper related.

Guess that means you have to review them all.

Shut up!

a/n: this is for sly 100 and it is my 100 story. this is beautiful and i'm crying becuz i nevah thuggt (which is like thought but thuggin)

 

 I'd get to so menny fucking stories. I love you wall

I can assure you, the wall does not love you back.

 but you guys should seriuousyl fucking review my stories moreyeah. FUCK YOU

Wow Fluff, you just gonna take that?

I’m gonna take it, and give absolutely zero shits about it.

Sly cooper in

100.

"SLY COOPER 100"

Giving the story two titles will not make it any less bad.

"hey sly"

Who said this?

"yeah bently"

Oh it was Bently, so is this Sly?

"why did you just say your name and 100 like that like you did that just you did there."

I don’t think it would hurt the writer to simply type “Bentley said” or Sly said”, but I could be wrong; and is the story trying to troll itself?!

"fuck if I know, that's some gay ass shit."

"fuck." bently said.

sly and bently were playing sly cooper thieves in time for the nintendo 65.

 

it sucked.

"nintendo 66 is bettar graphics sly. 100 times better" murry said.

What is this guy’s obsession with the number 100?

"fuck you murry let me play this game of myself bently made for me

This fanfic is literally hurting me right now.

for our 100 anniversity of when we met each other and

"man remembler the hampy camper?" murry screamed as he pooped himself and jizzed because that was funny. 100 times funnier that cod haters.

Is there a plot to this story or is it just gonna be random shit the whole way through?

"man fuck you murry. let's look at a clip." sly said like in family guy when they talk about the clips that happen in the story story.

 

"flacsh back." bently and sly said.

"this is how we met at the hampy fucking capper." the bently said.

"biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times.

Fuck it, I’m just gonna put up a 100 counter.

- 10

it was the hastpy sstamper. sly was crying like a homo cuz his his parentos were dead like mentos (a/n only real men don't cry never ever fucking ever okay? FUCKERS)

Someone has repressed memories, wanna talk about em?

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK my parents are dead." sly siad.

"join the fucking club." the main person

Harry Potter?

a bald fat dude that was like a rhino maybe or some other shit running the place said.

Definitely Harry Potter.

he punched sly in the face.

 

"fuck you shitty fuck fuck." sly said, scratching at his balls.

"OOOH FUCK SHIT KID THAT HURT." the bald dude got really happy

"your fuckign legit. nobody ever fucked wiht me like dat befo." he was black too.

Oh god it’s Imma Wiserd! Run for your life!

"my name patrick."

"hi patrick." sly said 100 times.

- 11

"hi there little boy. what your name?"

"fuck you old man I'm leaving this shitty gay place already. i got a fucking cane and shit. FUCK YOU."

I don’t want to put a fuck counter on, but I’m really tempted to.

"hey."

"what?"

"one fucking rule here shit." patrick said, punching yls in the ribs so they hurted and felt like broken.

"fucking don't fuck with me fucker."

That’s the only rule for The Retributionist as well.

he said and spat on sly, and rubbed his blood filled wounds on the dirt which hurt him quite a lot really.; )

Well that’s just rude.

sly cried and cried and cried until the night kame 100 minutes later.

-  12

We might be seeing the creation of a new numerical fetish here people.

Oh that fetish was made long before this shit.

he missed his parents.

"fuck this shitty shit fuckery fuckers." sly yelled at the 100 fire ants

Now you’re just being desperate.

that crawled awl over him and burned him. then a bee stung him.

"AHH I'M ALERGIC TO BEEEEEEEEEESSSS." sly said. 100 bees attacked him.

Man, Sly is not having a good day, first a random dude puches him, then fire ants bite him, and now bees, and I thought my life was bad.

"you guys." sly said as the bees stung him. "100 BEES" sly said.

"BZZZ" the 100 bees said.

We will never know what those bees are saying, it’ll be one of the greatest mysteries of the internet.

sly got all puffy and could not breathe anymore! he was really scared and wet himself.

"i'm really scared."

"hey."

Oh we’re back to this shit again?

"yeah?" sly said.

"let me fucking help your gay ass." bently said, shooting sly with a needle. the shit went away and all the bees everywhere died.

Heroine - saving people’s lives since 2014.

"fuck what was that shit?" sly said. "I feel all bettar."

"fuck if I know. FUCK." bently said.

"fuck's wrong with you, got fucking tourrets or some shit

Might explain why every character says “fuck” every 5 words.

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe . "sly said he 100 times.

- 13

 (a/n; like the tourreets guy his vieeos are funny haha he must have like one hunnah videos or some shits)

 

For someone who’s crazy about the number 100, you have a funny way of spelling it.

"dane cook is awesome.' bently said.

"yeah he is let's whatch dan cock special on telijizzon." sly said much coolerly than he would have if he said television 100 times.

I really doubt Sly could say anything cool in this.

they went into the hampy camp and watched the dane cook special 100 times.

"hey are your parents dead too?" sly asked.

“No, I just live in a orphanage for shits and giggles”

"yeah they got killed in the fucking war." bently said crying. "miss them a fuck lot, shit head."

"my parents got killed by a gay ouwl."

  

"fuck."

"I know right?"

"do you wanna watch this dan cola special again?"

"we already watched it like a 100 times so I don't think we should watch it again."

"why"

"I mean we alraddy watched it a lot."

"100 times."

"yeah."

"okay"

"let's go to bed."

THE MOST RIVETING FUCKING STORY I HAVE EVER READ!

they went to bed. tehre was a fat fuck on the bed and it wasn't patrick.

 

"this is murry he's retarded." bendly said as he pucked murry all over.

I...I don’t even want to know what pucked means.

"WAHHH WHY?" muruu said.

"BLEHHH." sly said.

"ahhh!" mrury said. he was really scurred.

The dialogue in this story is just the best.

"HEY YOU FUCKERS OH MY GOOD FUCKING GOLLY WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING UP THIS FUKCING LATE AHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!" patrick said as he knocked the door over. "SHIT HOLY SHIT GO TO BED GO TO FUCKIGN BED AHHH WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK!"

WHY ARE WE WHISPERING!

patricks slaped all of them with a wicker metal pole. he pierced their ears and tied them together, and drugged them into his secret office. he opened the fucking locked safe and the floor opened and there were many gaters in there. and water I think.

You know somethings wrong when the writer is indecisive on something.

 it was dark so they could see it not very well.

"enjoy your FUCKING knight

 

as you sleep with these dangerous critters." patrick said, drulpding them like dumplings into a very bad and dangerous place that was scary and scared them a lot.

It’s been awhile since the number 100 came up, maybe he stopped doing it.

 there were 100 baby alligators and 100 waters.

 

"wha wha wha wha wha what are we gonna do do do?" bently sud.

"i don't not not fucking know ok bently? i just don't now ok?" sly said.

Okay we get it, you don’t know!

he was scarred.

"harg." murry said.

A/N: FOOFIL GWAP!

"grate idea murry!" bently said.

It would be grate if I knew what the idea was.

sly bit the ropesz that tyed him and betnly and sly and murry together and they actually tasted good! THey tasted like beef jerkie. he through murry at the alligarytos and they started to bite murry. a lot. like if you were there you'd see al ot of murrys blood because they were biting the shitting fuck out of him! one even bit him on the balls but that made sly and bently laugh a lot. all in awl, they bit him 100 times.

Okay that’s it, I can’t review this shit without a little backup. RAY! GET OVER HERE!

 

"sly! i do think thoses gater bited murry 100 fucking times!" bently said.

 

It's almost like things shouldn't be happening exactly one hundred times…

"hahaha murry's a fag. i know that now." sly said.

murry cried but sly and bentley laughed at him.

 

I bunch of good friends right?

they went back to theyre room to watch the dane coock special 100 more times. it was funny. very funny actually.

"this dane cook special is funny actually." bentley said.

Someone really loves Dane Cook.

I mean, he's funny, but no joke is funny two hundred times in a row. Which is exactly why we're pretty much fucked when we get to our two hundredth review.

"real talk bruh" sly said.

"hey sly?" bentley said.

"yes?" sly said.

"you wanna see something cool?" bentley said.

 

"i dunno. why?" sly said.

"i askled you first." bently said.

"who me? sly?" sly said.

"your the only one in the room r-tard and murry's too gay and retarded for me to show him something this fuckity fuck cool." bentley said.

Is Murry dead at this point? Getting bit by alligators, precisely 100 times doesn’t go well with your health.

"ok?" sly said. he was confused.

"take a looky look at this." bently said. he pulled out a joint.

 

"the fuck is this shit?" sly said.

It's a human knee, a very commonly known joint.

"it's called weed or mairjuwanna. it's good bro try some." bent-lee said.

sly lit up a blunt

 

How did Sly know to light it if he didn't even know what it was a second ago? And was it a blunt or a joint? And why am I so hung up on the logic of this obsessive compulsive story where everything needs to happen one hundred times?

You’re probably just getting a contact high.

and felt really good because he was high and that is what wheed does, it makes you feel high. and good.

You can be the poster child for legalizing weed.

"bently bro...im so high...your name is should be bluntly lol" sly said.

"What the Fu-" Sly said as he was grabbed by someone behind him. It was Murry.

"Hi Sly. it rhymes." Murry said.

“I’m just back from getting eaten alive by 100 alligators which I will not bring up for the remainder of this story”

"Yes." Sly said. "Sly rhymes with Hi."

It also rhymes with die, which I hope happens to end this story quicker.

"you guys wanna play Ultra Thuggn 5000 on the Xbox 360 ?" murry murr said.

5000? 360? Those numbers aren't one hundred, everything I know is a lie.

"no you fatass retard. that game is lame. What the fuck? Fuck Mury, it's fucking chinese checkers. This game is lame. Heh heh eh.. it rhymes." sly sly said.

"fat fat fatty! murrys a fat fat fattyy fuck fatty!" betgnly said. sly and bently started laffing at murry. like a lot. if you were therte you'd be so annoyed with how much they where laughing because it was lot.

We’re already annoyed thank you.

"haha" murry said. he was laffing to try and seem like therye bullying wasnt getting to him but deep inside murry was ANGRY. he did a double punch and punched sly and bently right in the fucking face.

For a second I thought something significant was going to happen in this story, but nope, it's just the same ridiculous bullshit.

they fell down. sly falls down. bently felled down too!

"my fists are dubble trubble mothrerfuckers! dubble bubble trubble!" murry said.

Just because you can rhyme, doesn't mean you should.

"oh it's on you fat shitcake" sly said. he got up and grabbed murry's balls and put them in a Slap Chop . he slapped the chop out of fucking murry's ball sacks.

I don't even want to question why that's plural.

"ARGH HARG GUIRGE...FUCK YOU SLY." murry said as his balls bled all over the blace.

Murry is not having a good day.

then something bad and not good happened. patrick found out that they escaped his bastardly trappy trap!

"You little wobblering fucking cunts." he said.

sly, bentlkey and murry started to cry.

"how the fuck did you escape the gaters? you motherfuckers i'll kill you all myself. you little bastard fucks are nothing but trubble. i know it. ok?" patrick said (a/n not patrik sars from spungebob)

 

"fuck you patrick, step the fuck out of my face motherfucker or i'm finna put a cap in your rhincoeriys ass." sly said.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

I don’t know where, but I’ve heard of this before...but where?

 

patrick pushed sly and bently and murry down.

"Do you have an understanding of your life? Does not he?

Are we speaking like philosophers now?

! ! I put some pain in your life son, in some fucking pain. I want to fuck the shit out of you and your boy did not do anything since the first day of trouble. Do you understand it? Do you understand the langauge of shit that I speak?

Well I'm not fluent, but I know enough to know you're perpetually stalling the plot because you haven't come up with one.

I want to fuck you! Finnish to break my belt, I whip out your fucking shit! Put whipped cream on your back, I whip out your shit! Are you all right? Are you crying? So you need to fucking shit works. To kill you, I kill the dust you're fucking your fucking homo trying to crush your body into dust. 100 seconds worth the pain I will give to you 100 fucking faggots." patrtick screamed loud and loudly at them.

Why is one of the characters suddenly having a psychotic breakdown?

Well, it's all quite simple. A psychotic breakdown can also be called a spaz attack. Spaz Attack is the name of a song by 2nu. The lead singer of 2nu is the voice actor who plays a character in Star Fox. Star Fox is a game about anthropomorphic balls of fluff. Anthropomorphic balls of fluff are also the main characters in the Sly Cooper games. I think that's what the writer was going for here.

 

Shit, you're right, I forgot to get to Kevin Bacon.

bently wnet into his shell because he was really scared. so was sly. like if you were there and someone scary like patrick was yelling at you would you be scared?

Honestly, I'd probably be amused.

i fucking know i would. sly kicked bently who was in his shell over to patrick and hit him in the fuckin foot.

"OW FUCK." he said. he fell back because sly just lunched bently at his foot and it hurt him a lot. he fell out the window and fell a lot and landed on the grass hard. 100 fire ants, 100 bees, 100 giraffes and 100 wolfs all attacked him! and they all had 100% rabies.

And I give 100% zero fucks, is the story over?

Did a story ever start in the first place?

"AH NO PLEASE I DON'T FUCKING WANTED TO DIE THIS WAY." Patrick screemed as the rabie animals ripped him to shred.

I don't want to die anytime soon, but if I got the choice, at least that death would be memorable.

there was blood and shit and a blody carc-ass all over the floor and the ground. patrick was fuckiond dead.

"i'm happy patrick's dead." bently said. he came out of his shell.

Is Bentley trying to tell us something?

"yeah me too." sly said.

"and me." murry said.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MURRY." sly said. he had a really fucking devious look on his face.

"guys i think we should be criminals.

Because they're certainly not criminals already.

it is our calling in our lives to steal shit and bad!" sly said. by bad sly meant bad in a cool way not bad like in the way that they'd fucking suck or some shit.

"yeah that sounds like fun. a lot of run fun really." bentley said.

flashbork over.

Oh, we were still doing that flashback thing? And would it have made any difference whatsoever it everything just happened in order?

"FUCK" murry yelled suddently

"DAMN IT SHIT WHAT THE FUCK" sly said. he was really scared because they were all chille before.

"sorry that story made me pissed.

What? The one we’re reading right now?

I have to hang out with you assholes now cuz of that shit."

"the doors fucking right there pal, go the fuck out if you're gonna be a lil' bitch. we gonna call you lil' bitch from now on capeesh?" sly said like a new york bostin guy.

"fune fickers shit the feck outta heeyeeh" murry said.

"Ojay." sly said.

"WHANT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?" MURRY SAID.

"I said ojay it's better than okay." sly said.

"Okay."

"NO! YOU FUCKING SHIT! IT'S OJAY!" sly said.

 

"AAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Come on story, use your words, you can do it.

Murry said.

Murrys eys turned blood red. He grabbed the game disk and ran out smashing out a window.

"good fucking riddance." sly said.

"shit sly you think he's gonna try anad kill us?"

"over my dead ass he is.

 

FUCK HIM."

"remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?"

"you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. (a/n remember to do this story it funny)

Was that… no, it couldn't be… was that an author's note to the author?

It could be a death threat to me for all we know.

Either way, I think we should just pretend we didn't see it and move on. It'll help maintain whatever little sanity we have left.

"no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said.

"oh"

"do you want to do a flashback of that?"

"fuck bently what are we gonna do flashbacks 100 times or something?"

Don't you fucking…

"100 times?"

"yeah"

"I don't know that seems like a lot of flashbacks"

"I know that's why I said it. it's a big number."

"100 times seems like a lot"

"it is"

"maybe we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times"

Finally some logic in this shit.

"maybe we shouldn't."

"I think we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times"

"ok"

"yeah"

"so what do you want to talk about?"

WHY WAS THIS MADE!!!

"remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?"

"you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said.

Didn't this already…

 

"no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said.

"oh"

"do you want to do a flashback of that?"

"fine whatever"

 

Ray, I think we found someone worse than Tara.

I hate to admit it, but it wouldn't be the first time. Do you think we can make it through the whole story?

I...don’t...know...

"biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times.

*** would also work, or a transitional sentence that makes sense in prose, or even just skipping the transition entirely and making the shift implied. Basically, anything but fucking that.

sly did a triple helix back fucking flump and landed on his ass. he still sucked at theifing shit so he fucked it up really badly. he talked on his fucking dial up shitty walkie fucking reh-SEE-verr because fuck it was the olden times or some gay as fucking fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit damn ass drumpin flump.

Tisk tisk, that's ninety three fucks short of one hundred.

"shit" sly said into the walkie

"sly what the shit are you fucked up and high? are you smoking crack? are you fucked up 100 ways from tomorrow?" bently said.

"no bently I just forgot what we're stealing and where we are and when we are."

So you are on drugs.

The lucky bastard.

"it is night time and you are stealing from this video game museum. we be robbing nintendo, microsott, sonny, all that shit." bentarly said literally.

They'll literally be robbing all that shit, incredible.

"oh"

"so maybe you should go steal this video games or something 100 times."

"I gotta take a dump first." sly said.

Sly needs to get his priorities straight.

he went to go poop in a toilette before he would need a moist towelett to clean his pants.

fucking carmelita was hanging around the front of the bathrooms.

"who the fuck are you some kind of pervert?" sly said quietly but and to himself so she wouldn't hear him but she did. she got really scared and ran away.

sly went to the toilet and sat down and did number 2 100 times.

 

he got up and washed his hands 100 times.

then he saw a see ling skware move. he saw cankaleamgia

Carmelita = cankaleamgia

 

hanging around up there.

"fuck you are a pervert you fucking pervert. maybe you should be a cop instead of a pervert." sly said.

It's funny because… or no, it's deep because… no wait I got this, it's clever because… I got nothing.

"fuck that's a good idear." carmeiliat says as she jumps away.

"shit" sly said as he rememerd what he did. "i took a shit."

sly ran to the video games and stole some of them. he made sure to only get cool games. there was a geekazoid loser with a glow stick uniform doing sekuritee. sly punched him in the dick and ran away.

"ahhh fucker." the guy said. the guy's name was a big fucking surprise, it was barack obama back when he was a nerd.

Yeah, I certainly wasn't expecting that, so I guess the narrator isn't lying.

Was this before he became Vice President?

Is that a political joke that I'm not aware enough to understand? So basically, is that a political joke?

...Yes

flashback over.

"fuck that was obama." sly said. "I fucking punched obama in the dick."

"cool"

"yeah"

"maybe we should go do something"

"maybe we should"

"Or maybe we should admit this isn't going anywhere and just end the story."

"let's get ice cream and then go to the shopping mall to by supplys sly."

"ok"

they got in the van. they went to the mall. they got ice cream. it was good.

 

"sly this ice cream is scrimply tastey i do say so myself as i am bently." bently said.

"bently shut the fuck up and enjoy the ice cream because it is fucking good." sly said.

"what kind of flayvor did you get?" betnyl siad.

"100% chocklate." sly said. he wasn't kidding like it was no joke. even the Sp ne was made out of chocolate!

Even the Sp ne‽

 

My god, that's so amazing that I almost gave a fuck!

"nice." bently said. he liked the spoon or spune or Sp ne

You were right the first time you idiot or idui or id iot

"what did you get." sly said.

"dubble bannana 100 budge fudge." betnly said with a big smile on his fucking face.

"i like ice cream" sly said licking his chops. "yum yum yum"

 

This was written by an eight year old. A potty mouthed eight year old.

My eight year old nephew could write better.

"Indeed it is very yummy" bentradely said.

"yum!" sly said. he ate the ice cream.

"did you know that ice cream is really really good?" bently said.

Hey Fluff, can we delete the parts about ice cream? And the parts where things happen one hundred times? And the parts where they swear?

But that would mean we’d delete 80% of the entire story.

Yeah, that! Let's do that.

"yeah." sly said.

"it is." bently said.

"i know, you didn't need to fucking tlel me that ice cream's good becuz is fucking is ok?" saly said.

"i know, but i just like it alot." bently said.

"i know me too." sly said.

"i know how you feel about ice cream because i feel the same way," bently said

"we feel good about our ice cream." sly said.

I’m honestly starting to think the author of this story has something wrong with him.

"yes indeeder we do." bently said.

"we feel really fucking good aobut it." sly said.

"yes because ice cream is really good." bently said.

 

This is exactly the circular bullshit people write when they have absolutely nothing to write about! If somebody wants to write it for whatever reason, that's their own business. But as soon as they put it online, it becomes our business, and our business is getting real sick of stories that don't go anywhere and take a long time to do it.

" i bet murry wishes he could stuff his fat fucking face with this ice cream?" bent;ly said.

"whos murry?" sly said.

"you know the fat gay retarded hippo that follows us around." bently said.

"oh you mean lil' bitch. fuck him, he's not good enough for ice cream because ice cream is good." sly said.

Yes, you told us that the last 100 fucking times.

"indeeder that it is sly."

"yeah" sly said.

"ice cream is yummly." bently said.

"but murry is a fagtard and a redneck motherfucking piece of shit." sly said.

"i agree with you on that one." bently said.

"but you also agree with me about ice cream."

"yeah i do sly." bently said.

 

The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it, The story can't rape my ears if I can't see it…

It’s okay Ray, we can get through this, I know you can.

And I'm sure you're right, but this story is the worst kind of bad. It sucks, but it sucks repetitively, and that's just not easy to keep reviewing.

That’s exactly why we put this as review 101. Getting through bullshit 101, and you’re the teacher.

 

"i bet ice cream gives murry gas." sly said.

"yeah" bently said. they laughed at sly's funny joke.

Funny is a lie and joke is debatable.

"oh my head hurts. i ate my ice cream 100 times too fast and now i have BREAIN FREEEZE!" sly siad.

If only brain freeze was fatal...if only...

"AH ME TOO IT UFCKING HURTS. IT HURTS! AHHH" bently said.

they screamed until the pain went away and it hurt a lot. have you ever gotten brain freeze before? i get it a lot when i eat ice cream and i do the same thing sly and bently do

Is this the author talking now?

We've already broken through to the second person plenty of times, might as well go for first. But honestly, of all the fucked up things that must have happened in the author's short lifetime, how is it that the first thing he mentions is ice cream? Did ice cream rape him one hundred times?

, i scream for my cream, my ice cream!

they finished their ice cream.

 

 they were happy because it was good ice cream and not bad ice cream.

"fuck we gotta buy supply but we spended too much money on ice cream!" bently said.

"you know what that means!" sly said.

"WE GOTTA STEAL!" sly and bently said at the same time.

"STEAL SOME SHIT" sly said.

"SHIT WE GONNA STEAL." bently said.

everyone looked at them funny.

Who’s everyone? Where the fuck are they anyway?

"whant supllies do we neeeeed?!" sly said.

"we need some grappelling hooks

 

and some wire. 100 times what we use unusally." bently said.

"how much would that cost if we didn't eat the iced creamiscles?" sly said.

"about 100 dollars." bently said.

"nice!" sly said.

"but that ice cream was really good." bently said.

 

"worth the money i know, we must've spent 100 dollars on ice cream." sly said.

What the fuck is with you and ice cream, you’ve already made Ray and me cry, just stop already!

"right?" bently said.

"shit was so cash." sly said.

"cash with some ass." bently said very slowly.

"ass." sly said.

"cash." bently said.

"ass cash ash ass cash" sly said.

"cash ass ash cash ass." bently said.

"ASS CASH!" they saided at the saime time.

I’ve never wanted to physically harm someone so much

"100" sly said.

"ok time to steal." bently said.

they went to the thieving goods store at the mall. seriously those exist, google it dude.

 

"ok bently i got a pro thieving idea that's ultra fucking devious and theivoes. 100 % fucking devious." sly said.

"ok you got this shit sly" bently said.

"i got this because ima spicey meat-a-ball!" sly said in a cool voice.

he went into the store which was called THIEVES R US

The Я is backwards, just saying.

they had a lot of theifing stuff in there.

sly went up to the place where the grapplinger hooks and wire were and just put a shit ton in his bag. then something bad happned.

"WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" a mall cop said.

"oh shitting fuck nuggets" sly said.

they ran away, they came back to the mall once the mall copz were gone.

they went to get 100 times more ice cream

 

 

adnd then they went to the shopping mall to buy supplyes for sly.

"Hey SLY?" bently said.

"Yes?" sly said.

"Do you want to want to make some fucking ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos?" bently said.

"No Bently, everything about that sounds terrible, in fact I think you need help."

"Yes?" sly said.

"LET'S MAKE THAT FUCKING ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos!" bently said.

"Yeseser." sly said.

they went into home and into their place to the kictchen. they put ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos into a ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos container.

Well now I think the writer is just making things up.

I think we found that out on page 24.

they made it and squeezed it from a icing tube it into a bowel.

 

Don’t knock it til you try it.

they ate it with licking it.

Tried that one, definitely knocking it.

it was tasting goodlicious.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" sly said.

"THIS ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos IS FUCKING GOOD! WE FUCING ATE IT IT!" bently said.

they had like 100 cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos. then they got bored.

"fuck now what" sly siad.

I’d say end the story, but then I would be repeating myself for the 50th time.

"fucking bored now"

"fuck so am i"

"fuuuuuuuuuuckles."

"shit bricks, let's go rob some shiz with these surplies, or try to mess with cazremeltiua ;)" sly said making funny face.

So uh, did he just verbally say an emoticon?

"fuck okay just don't whip your dick out and try to have sex with her or perhaps she'll pull the legal lever to making hunting coopers legalized."

"aiight. fuck." sly siad mad because that was his plorn. "Will you quit saying fuck?"

Will you quit acting like there aren't bigger fucking problems here?

"FUCK! Fuck." bently said."...fuck..."

 

"sly stepped on his foot...hard.

"FUCK! Fuck." bently said.

"STOP SAYING FUCK!" SLy said. "it's totes my thing tos ay fuck plus you said it like 100 times"

So have you.

"FUCK YOU!" bently said in a plerb accent.

sly promptly carefully reached into bently's shell carefully and grabbed his tiny turtle balls.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Look Buffalo Bitchcake, if you say the word "fuck" one more time i will crush these puny blueberries you call racoon testicles

But a second ago he was a turtle.

I guess Sly is a masochist, who knew.

and you can't have sexual intercouse with penlpe or even masturbate good. you said it 100 times okay"

"I'm sorry..." bently said as tears coursed down his face and hit his balls 100 times. The tears started to burn, causing steam to rise.

"Oh God!" bently screamed as sly began to twist his steaming nuts.

"Now lets' find carmelia." sly began to leave.

"Um Sly."

"What?"

"Could you let go of my balls, please?"

"oops, sorry buddy." sly let go.

No, the two of you don't get to be buddies anymore; at this point Bently is either Sly's lover or Sly's bitch.

Or both.

Sly and Bently climbed into the shiny smooth Cooper van.

"Sly. My balls are killing me." bently said as he massaged his area.

"Sorry. You shoulda stopped saying the f word. you said it like a hundred times." sly said. "fuck."

"I guess. It's just..." bently stopped talking. "It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just..

I can do that to; It's just… It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just...

It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just.. It's just....

 It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just…

 It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just…

 

my balls hurt really really really bad." bently said 100 times.

"Just stop swearing." sly said, combing his stupid fucking haircut so carmfarmbelarmblita would think he was legit. it like an affrooo.

"OK." benly said. "i'm gonna fucking murder you and everyone else if you ever fucking do that again you motherfucker. I'll build a goddamn nuke to kill ever living beeng.

Chill the fuck out, he just combed his hair.

so go fuck yourself and never touch my sack again fucker,

Oh, that. My apologies for thinking we could move on from a subject without immediately going back to it.

I will fucking end you and everything you hold dear."

"ok" sly said."You wanna grab something to eat."

I don’t think that was intentional, but that was pretty fucking funny.

"k." 'tly said."where the FUCK do you want to eat?"

"How about Mickey dees, Ba-ba-bah-ba-ba. I'm lovin' it."

bento struck sylverster (that's his full fucking name alright? don't fukin pretend it's not scrub, it fucking is, it's fucking slyvester okay.)

You have the ability to call someone a scrub when you can write a good story, until then shut the hell up.

with a frying pan.

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME!" BENT-LY SCREAMED.

Why are these people friends?

"get bent" sly said. "hehehe"

"hahahaha"

"hahahaha"

Oh, right, it's because they're stupid.

"good one"

"I kno. let's go to Quizno's insted." sly said.

"Sounds good to me." They pulled into the Quizno's/"

"Yeah, I'd like one hundred Quiznos, a hundred cups of coffe, exrta syrup and sugar.

Didn’t you forget something?

100 peeses of sugar and syrup." Sly said to the waiter.

There we go.

"I WANT NOTHING! Bently screamed. The waiter flipped off benlty and ran away.

"That waiter looks familar ;and fucking shit. FUCK."

"Go to hell, you coconut sodomizing BITCH." Sly yelled at the waiter.

"WAIT!...IT IS MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYY!"

"Guys?" Murry said. He ran over, flipped the table over and tackled Bently.

"WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYY YYYYYYY?!" Murry said.

Why am I still unhappy even though something is actually happening? Good question, it's because the thing that's happening is completely pointless and not all that entertaining.

He began jump on bently's gut 100 times.

"NNNOOOOO! Murry You suck! HA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HA!" Bentley said as he tried to laugh to ease the pain but it turned his tears to blood and jizz.

ComicsNix, did you write this part?

Sly came to the rescue just in time with a fork and lodged it deep into murry's back, like fuck it was so deep you'd be really surprised and all grossed out and shit if you saw it, for fucking realsies.

This is definitely not ComicsNix, he’s much more better and entertaining.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWOWOWOWOWOW! murry screeched 100 times.

"Cat got your tongue?" Sly said as pulled murrys tongue our and he dumped 100 hot sauces on murry's tongue.

 

"ENOUGH!" Murry overpowered sly and pushed him into some old people. they died. they were patrick's parents and they were really happy to be dead because they hoped they could go to hell to be with their son patrick in hell.

"First, I Will Be serving some apetizers!" Murry said as he punched Sly in the face,"Then the first course" Another punch."Then the second." Yet another punch."Then the third!" Sly was now currently a bloody racoon.

How did this story suddenly get good with violence?

He tried to crawl away. But murry grabbed his nuts.

"Murry got your balls?" Murry said as he dragged sly's sac over to the grill stove.

"For 100 time's sake, Murry." sly begged. "PLEASE DON'T!

"Maybe you should've thought about wearing pants." murry said.

 

Murry does have a point; Sly has managed to wear everything but pants.

but then something wierd happnd. penelope showed up.

"holy shit." sly said.

"what" penpy said.

"you never fucking show up you shitty fucking nerd." bently said.

"if penpy saiz one fucking word." murry said. "one more and I'll rip sly's balls off."

"fuck." sly said. "don't fucking say shit penpie. OKAY? I kno you're a chick so chick's like to fuckin talk all the god dam time but SHIT this once

Someone’s got lady issues.

, my balls are on the fucking line, or should I say in a fat gay hippo's strongly grap!"

"CRAP!" bently said. he knew pembly couldn't fucking do it. she was a woman after all.

 

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MOTHERFUCKERS" carmelita said. she wuz disguyzed as a chair.

 

"ho shit hehehehe" sly said, obvosly checking her ass out 100 times. "hehehehe"

"FUCK YOU CARMELITA. I FUCKING NEW U WER THERE OKAY?" murry said

Then why didn’t you do anything then?

, throwing 100 tiles from the grownd at her. "i'm sick of your ficking bullshnit cunting shit fuck fuck fucking fuckery where you fucking come in fucking shit up and shit, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck YOU."

murry started punching carmelita 100 times and sly was too scared to do nothin. she was nearly dead when she fell over.

"oh fuck carmelita may be dead." penplo said. sly started crying more because murry was sure to rip off his balls now.

Bitch, Cupcakes was our third review, you really think simply ripping someone's balls off will phase us at this point?

"oh shit hehehe" murry said. "now I get to rippy rippy."

"or do you?" someone misterious said from the fromt of kwissnose. it was...DEMETRI!?

"Demeatree?!" sly said.

"dametri? fuck demetri, you're gay you fuck fucking 100 times fucking cunt!" murry said. he went outside. he picked up a car he threw it at demetri.

demetri was dead!

Well that was a pointless cameo.

Right?

Oh hey Martin. Bye Martin.

"No!" sly said.

"i'll save you bently" pepy said.

"pepsi no!" bently said. murry thought she was a drink so he drunk her.

"no she dead no." bently said 100 times.

I’ve completely lost the plot, if there ever was one.

"lol." sly said out loud laughing.

then murry grabbesd sly's fucking balls harder. carmeliat got really sad.

"i don't want sly balls die."

she jumped at fuckin murry but sumthin fuckin weird fucking happnd.

"I don't feel good." carmelita said then melted.

Well, yeah, now that you mention it that is kinda weird.

a death ray laser from outside had crashed into her and she died!

"NO FUCK HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING NO NO NONOONONONO" sly said.

 

"she's dead sly, ok she's dead. deal with it." bently said, taking his glasses off and breaking them to sho how for real he is.

"no fucker you fucker..." sly said, cursing murry to death 100 times in his souls.

"ha ha fucking ha." murry said, as his mech suit (which look like a gundam mixed with a school bus so it was super fucking legit).

Legit must mean something different these days, because that's not any legit I've ever heard of.

he got in his mech suit that ripped the roof off (remember to fix the other part A/N)

 

Is this a true story‽

It’s not.

Oh. Good.

and flew away.

"meet me at london at big ben the big clock tower if you want to end this."

murry left, and his ship was flying away with gayness.

Ah, I know exactly what ship he was flying.

 

Which reminds me, we need to review Lexx someday.

We can make that review number 201 then.

"fuck sly, good thing I built you a giant mech suit just in case this happened." he pushed a baton and then a giant mech suit shaped like sly but like a transformer, like the new movie transformers, not the old transformers, the new movie ones

It’s ironic since the the new one sucks worse than the old ones. Also, why didn’t you use it when he was getting his ass kicked by Bently.

 okay? but anyways sly got in and bently strapped himself to it, they flew away, burning up quiznos and penelpys and carmolitas bodays.

"we cremate them" bently said as he cry.

"yeah bently we did, we did good. now we kill the fucker once and for all."

"sly I got something to say."

"ok"

"if we don't make it i have a solution. we gotta fucking do it. just say cheese when we're done."

"ok sure bently whatever." sly was actually pretty bored now.

Yeah, he's only flying to London in a transformer to fight some other mech, why would he be invested in this?

they flew to big ben and murry was flying.

"HEY FUCKO" murry said loudly and oncely.

"what is it why did you keel them." sly said.

"fuck you."

"man I could be palying video games " sly said, firing a hundred rockets at muhwey.

 

"uhhh" murry said taking a dump in his robot.

"haha now I will win." sly said he was reading macks ihm may gah zeen.

but murry was ready. he fired a murry laser from the canon and shoted sly.

"AHHH NO" bently said as he died when the leg part he was strapped to fell off and blew up forever.

Okay, we're down to two characters, this has to be getting close to the end.

We can only hoped.

"ahh damn." sly said. he wanted to cry another tear, but no more tears would come anymore forever.

"100 times damn you sly cooper." murry said, firing more rockerts. sly started to fell to the ground.

"man this is my fucked up life." sly think. "I fucked up everything, and everyone I love is dead, how will I go now that I crash into this burning robot suit to the ground by big ben, I hope I don't fall on any bad tooth british faggots. fuck the british."

Fuck a lot of things, we got it writer; you like to say fuck and insult people.

"hey" bently's ghost said.

 

This story just get’s better and better.

"say cheese"

"bently! why you here you like the force or something?"

"no this just a hologramp." bentrometer said. he wasn't really a ghost i lied okay.

 

"what do I dooo everything so shitty and I'm dyin."

"fuck sly this is what you gotta do. say fucking cheese. then it will activate the back up platn. then you can defeat murry. then after he's dead push the bright fucking button with a dick on it."

Any plan that ends that way probably isn't something you want to entrust your life with.

"ok" sly said. "cheese"

"and sly"

"yeah?"

"fucking rape him for me, okay?" bently said as he flew away into the internet.

This story has drained me to the point I couldn’t even imagine.

sly pushed a new button and THEN SHIT WENT DOWN. new legs came out of the robot like ketulu, and then robot tentacles turned into regular robot arms. a fuckton of missles hit murry's robot and he crashed to the ground. sly flew the robot down behond murrey's which was all on fours.

"hey fucker, this is for killing patrick." sly said as he activated rape mode and his robot raped murry's robat.

Okay, that is simultaneously the most pointless thing a robot could do to another robot, and the funniest thing to happen in the story.

"ahh OOH nOOO" murry said as his robot exploded and he fell out. a bunch of gay british people found him and raped him too and he died.

"now what. oh yeah that button" sly said. he pushed the dick button and time exploded.

 

"FUCK TIME IS GOING AWAYYYY"

he woke up on da balcony. carmelita walked out.

End this story already.

to be continued in thieves in time.

 

Wonderful, simply wonderful. All I can say now is fuck x100