Review #1

My Immortal

Chapters 25-27

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Chapter 25.

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111

If you remember the author’s note of chapter one (and who wouldn’t?), Justin is likely her boyfriend, at least in her mind. This got me wondering if Tara had been with Justin longer than Ebony had been with Draco, and something dawned on me; this entire story so far, from chapter one to chapter twenty five, could very well take place within a week. Keep in mind, with all of the madness going on it’s impossible to say definitively, but that’s the impression that I get.

n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111

Expect us.

FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1


I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco’s black car.

“Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say.” whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

“She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice.

+schfifty five internets to whoever can grumble in a sexy voice.

He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree.

Let this be a lesson to everyone; if you’re going to do heroin, don’t do it while you’re driving a car, flying or otherwise.

We went to the top of it.

Oh, it was intentional. Alright everyone, new plan; chase the dragon in a car, and I’m guessing it’ll fly whether it’s meant to or not.

Draco put on some MCR.

“And all the things that you never ever told me

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.” sang Gerard’s sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar.

I’ll say upfront that my experience with wearing leather bras and thongs is definitely less extensive than Ebony’s, but I’m suspecting that a part of her misery comes from wearing, well, leather bras and thongs.

I took of his black boxers. Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what

in my tool


“OMFG Draco Draco!” I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.

“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.

“Ebony what’s wrong?” Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Lucian and Serious!111

Chapter 26.

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep!

Seeing as the human anatomical layout isn’t on my side and I don’t own an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, that simply isn’t an option.

U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11

It was a bit odd that his race and gender were the only things you described considering your affinity for describing clothing and making similes to famous goths, but I hadn’t considered saying anything until you brought it up. Racist.


A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.

“Hi Vampire.” I said flirtily as I started to sob.

“Hi Vampire,” I said flirtatiously while sitting right next to Draco, who I just had chainsaw sex with.

Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

“Oh fuck it!” Vampire shouted angrily.

“Oh fuck it!” said everyone who read this at some point or another.

Shout: 55

Shoot: 7

He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”

“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor.”

  • Dumbledore
  • Dumbledeor
  • Dumbeldor
  • Dumbeldore
  • Dumblydore
  • Dumbledoree
  • Dumbelldore
  • Dumbledork
  • Dumbledum
  • Dumbldore
  • Dumbledor

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.

  • Dumbledore
  • Dumbledeor
  • Dumbeldor
  • Dumbeldore
  • Dumblydore
  • Dumbledoree
  • Dumbelldore
  • Dumbledork
  • Dumbledum
  • Dumbldore
  • Dumbledor
  • Dumblydor

“Sire are dads have been shot!” Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Enoby had a vision in a dreem.”

Dubleodre started to cockle.

  • Dumbledore
  • Dumbledeor
  • Dumbeldor
  • Dumbeldore
  • Dumblydore
  • Dumbledoree
  • Dumbelldore
  • Dumbledork
  • Dumbledum
  • Dumbldore
  • Dumbledor
  • Dumblydor
  • Dubleodre

“Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony’s not divisional?”

Not a bad point, Ebony is essentially the result of dividing by zero.

I glared at Dumbledore.

“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter).

The perspective is fucked, people are gasping, and Ebony is a guy; seems about right to me.

“U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!”

And I have a new second favorite adverb. Still not first, but only because it’s pretty hard to top fuckingly.

“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Longdon.” I said. I told him which street.

Pretty impressive, considering you can’t even pronounce the city.

He went and called some people and did some stuff.

The clarity of this scene just jumps right off the screen, doesn’t it?

After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other’s gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers……………………….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111

“I don’t care of you flame, stop flaming!”

fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111


Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra.

She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly.

While I’ll admit saying drak instead of dark isn’t good, it wasn’t said as poorly as most other bits of dialogue.

She peered into da balls.

Le best poker face you’ve ever seen.

“You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had.

Abandon hope all ye who enter here. Ebony Enoby Ebondy Enony Dark’ness Dementia Tara Raven Way is going to time travel. It is going to be illogical. It is going to far exceed the concievable bounds of human reasoning. It is going to be painful. It is avoidable: close the window, give up, go do something else. It is not too late.

“When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head.

And I hang mine in shame for humanity as I attempt to figure out what that statement is supposed to mean.

“U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him.

Did everybody read that last line? I just wanted to make sure, because it’s the last relatively significant plot point for quite some time and I think we should all savor it, flawed as it is.

You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin.

I’m not too familiar with the sins, but according to Google, Ebony’s already committed all seven big ones. I doubt this extra sin will be of much consequence.

I went outside again sadly.

“What fucking happened?” asked Draco and Vampire.

“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?

Wait, so… did they?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore.

Fuck any semblance of a plot; I want to hear that interview.

A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.

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