Review #1

My Immortal

Chapters 22-24


<< >>




Chapter 22.

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven’s folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1

Does… does Tara know there’s a delete key?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic.

You’d think that with all this talk, we’d actually be told what/who it/they is/are.

Well anyway, I woke up the next day.

I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!

I opened my crimson eyes.

She gasped before she opened her eyes. Huh. Moving on, remember how before we were only told about the clothes one or two characters were wearing at a time? Well now we have the incredible opportunity to read about the clothing of five characters, in addition to some more… creative, backstories.

Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B’loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle’s dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.

So from here on out I’ll assume I’m talking to myself, because I doubt anyone else survived.

“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

“Enoby something is really fucked up.” Draco said.

Finally, someone addresses it.

“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Draco said in a sexy voice.

If that works…

“Oh all right.” I said smiling.

No clothes! Finally, no clothes!

“But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

Erective? When I said no clothes, that’s not exactly what I had in mind.

“I will I will.” he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal

and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

“THIS CANNOT BE!” she shouted angrily. “THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!”

“THE BARK LORD

IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!” yelled Cornelia Fudge.

“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Rumbridge. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”

“Very well.” Dumbledore said angrily. “Butt

we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort

and she is in the school.

And her name is…………………………………………………………………..

Terry Potter.

Enony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.”

Fuck. Ebony Enoby Ebondy Enony Dark’ness Dementia Tara Raven Way, do you have to be the center of everything?

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B’loody Mary looked at each other………I gasped.

Chapter 23.

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1

True, but you hardly got any god revoiwsz.

fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

You’d think they could just tell each other things like that in person, but apparently they don’t actually exist outside of this story. On the other hand, I might not either.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.

  • Dumbledore
  • Dumbledeor
  • Dumbeldor
  • Dumbeldore
  • Dumblydore
  • Dumbledoree
  • Dumbelldore
  • Dumbledork
  • Dumbledum

“MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.

“Oops she made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “She means hi everybody cum in!”

But anyways, nice save Dumblydore. I’m sure nobody suspects a thing.

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B’loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo.

I’m noticing that all of these nonconformists look exactly like each other.

I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.

“Vampire, Draco WTF?” I asked.

“You fucking bustard!” yelled Draco at Vampire. “I want to shit next to her!1”

“No I do!” shouted.

“No she doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Draco.

“No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!” shouted Vampire. And then……………… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv)

They started to fight and beat up each other.

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn’t stop.

  • Dumbledore
  • Dumbledeor
  • Dumbeldor
  • Dumbeldore
  • Dumblydore
  • Dumbledoree
  • Dumbelldore
  • Dumbledork
  • Dumbledum
  • Dumbldore

I’m honestly surprised she hit Dumbledork and Dumbledum before Dumbldore.

All of a sudden…… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick.

Oh gee, who could it be?

He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….Volzemort!

“Eboby…..Ebony…….” Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice.

wut

“Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!”

If he can so readily kill any of them, why doesn’t he just kill all of them and get it over with?

“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.

“No!” he laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he flew away cackling.

See?

I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.

“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

“Ebony Ebony aure you alright?” asked Draco in a worried voice.

“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.

“Everyfing’s all right Enoby.” said Vampire all sensetive.

“No its not!” I shouted angrily.

Shout: 53

Shoot: 7

Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”

That would make absolutely no sense. So yeah, you should probably be worried.

“Its ok gurl.” said B’loody Mary. “Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though.”

“Ok bich.” I said sadly and den we went.

Chapter 24.

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.

“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick.

Olfactory lipstick, coming to a goffik store near you.

She’s da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She’s also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b’loody mry get along grate) She’s really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong.

All in favor of getting Emily the Strong, whoever the fuck she is, a pastor?

Aye.

Aye.

Aye. Where’s everyone else?

Dead or gone, remember?

Not really, I’ve just come to expect a certain lack of continuity.

Arg!

I raced my hand.

I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

“What is it Ebony?” she asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”

“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”

“Ho about now?” she asked.

“OK.” I said.

“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. “Except for you Britney.” she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit)

1 on page 3.”

That actually sounds pretty reasonable.

“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Draco gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

“What do you c?” she asked.

“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”

“But I was seeing it long before you showed me the crystal ball.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

So with that in mind, what do you suppose she meant to say?

“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Sinister.

“Bye bitch.” I said waving.

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.

This whole story exhibits you Ebony, stop acting like this is a rare occurrence.


<< >>